Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Should I give him more time?or check in.
- This topic has 12 replies and was last updated 4 years, 2 months ago by
Tallspicy.
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Leesh
Have been dating this guy 3 months now but not exclusive yet though have cleared that we’re only seeing each other. Both have busy schedules and i’ve been sensing him being a little distant as in communicating while we’re apart and i’m the one initiating conversation since a week and he gave me the lame ‘been super busy’ excuse and I expressed I would happily give him space if he just lets me know as i’ve A lot going on at my part too but I make time to shoot in a quick message no matter how pressed I’m at work. Anyway sent a light hearted check in and told him to get back to me when he can coz I worked the weekend and whole weekend passed by and no replies and I don’t want to check in again coz I feel like i’ve Done my part. Usually he would atleast text me saying have a good shift and so on. Should I wait a day more before I step in and just communicate or just let him initiate?
Btw, we don’t text constantly throughout the day but atleast one to two texts to let each other know what we’re up to,rather have quality conversation in person or over phone.
Amber
He’s showing low interest. It is just a fact that a guy who is truly interested would for example, not let a whole weekend go by without checking in. No matter how busy he may be. If you’re not exclusive I would advise dating around a bit more :)
Amber
And one thing I have also learned from dating is that if a man is truly interested, you wouldn’t have to wonder about his communication. It would be like clock work.
Leesh
Thanks for the response Amber. Truly appreciate it and you’re correct. I’m just going to let this pass and let him do his part, if he is still keen he will come around if not I enjoyed our time together. Just gonna have to keep myself occupied so to not overthink to much into it hehe
Amber
@Leesh, it sounds like you know what to do. It is hard when we invest time and energy in someone and they don’t reciprocate.
Luckily 3 months is not too long! Honestly, letting this one slide will lead you to someone who would make sure not let you go. You would literally have to sit back and do NOTHING! And that is exactly what you should be doing until a guy makes you his girlfriend.
Don’t check in on this one. It’s his turn. And if he doesn’t do his part to make you feel good and not worried….NEXT! Good luck
Colleen
You’re saying he has not responded since you gave him the light hearted nudge?
Leesh
@colleen hiya!! Yes, last text was Friday afternoon and it’s monday afternoon now where I live and nothing. He hasn’t done this before in 3 months, atleast he would reply something back and a week of me pushing the communication and i’ve addressed to him in person about him being unresponsive for a long time as he is not that great at texting and mentioned we could talk over phone for couple of minutes to keep the communication going when we’re not together and he agreed but well. Don’t want to push it but I guess I wasn’t expecting him going ghost for almost 3 days now, when i’ve tried to be accomodating and understanding.
Zoe
He is not interested. Leave him alone
Haley
Hi!
This legit happened to me a couple weeks ago similar situation (and I even met some of his family members) and he went silent on me for five days, until i nudged him and he came clean. I knew it in my gut for weeks since his texting was so on and off. Just be prepared for the worst!!!! And remember to allow yourself to feel upset and youre feelings are completely valid. Trust your intuition. If you feel something is off…it most likely is. I am sorry this is happening to you! We are here for you.Tallspicy
Any man who is not your boyfriend by generally 8 to 12 weeks at the latest is not going to ever be your boyfriend. And not seeing other people is not even close to the same as exclusive. Men who want to be your boyfriend act like A boyfriend. I suggest you move on because I think this is gonna be an uphill battle no matter what.
If he comes back, I suggest you end it with him.
“Bob, thanks for reaching out. I have had some time to think and I don’t think we’re on the same page about what we’re looking for. I’m looking for something that can be serious and is growing, and this doesn’t seem to be going in that direction. I truly wish you the best and thank you for our time together.” Straight out of Evan Mark Katz handbook. If he fights for you, then you have a boyfriend, but most likely he will say best to you as well.
Leesh
@hayley I’m sorry you went through this too. I know, it doesn’t feel good in the heart but I was expecting basic human decency. Fine if you don’t want to date anymore but just don’t be coward and disappear from the face of the earth. This has happened to me before also actually but I thought he would be more respectful toward my feelings and let me know, I would understand and it would be easier for me to move on. Coz we had all the serious deep talks and confessed things were going in the positive direction but oh well. I just hate this thing about men in today’s dating scene. They just can’t own up and be straight forward.
Leesh
@Tallspicy thanks for the advice. I’m not going to feed into his man ego anymore. If and when he tries to initiate that’s exactly what I’m going to say. Coz in the past i’ve called guys out when they went ghost on me and it’s the same excuse it’s me not you thing and was super busy doing life.
Can’t be considered about other people’s feelings don’t try to date at all and just tell your true intentions instead of being a professional liar about it.
Anyways, it’s already a boy bye for me. Thank you..next !!
Tallspicy
He’s not a liar, he’s just weak. You should feel sorry for him and you will one day. He’s just not a man he’s a boy. Believe it or not he thinks he’s saving you from hurt feelings this way. I know that that is not true but that is what his thought pattern is
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