Should I be worried about this?


Home Forums Dating and Sex Advice Should I be worried about this?

This topic contains 14 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Bkgal 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #819829 Reply

    Bkgal

    Been seeing this guy since July. We’re friends on social media, his ex gf popped into friend suggestions and out of curiosity I snooped. I noticed she had just changed her profile pic and he “liked” it, then I ended up scrolling a bit more and saw that he had liked quite a few of her posts and pics all of which were posted after they broke up. For the record I have changed my profile pic twice since we’ve gotten together and he did not “like” it either time. I haven’t seen her like any of his stuff other than one pic of his kids going back to school. I normally wouldn’t think twice about him not liking my profile pics, but seeing that he’s liked hers is a bit of a gut punch. Am I making a big deal out of this?

    #819841 Reply

    Hayley

    I honestly think youre not, you are completely entitled to feel like this. Others may tell you are being overdramatic, but a dude who constantly likes his ex’s stuff but none of the girl hes seeing …yeah red flag. What do you know about him and his previous relationship? It is possible they are just on decent terms. But again…..men show themselves through their actions. Sigh

    #819886 Reply

    Newbie

    What does ‘seeing’ this guy mean? Are you officially a couple? Doesnt sound like it. If you started dating in june and it hasnt progressed to anything steady and clear then i think the guy liking pics of his ex means that he is not over her and not totally into you. Sorry to say

    #819955 Reply

    Rebecca

    I have been talking to this guy and we were from tinder. He is from Italy. Since we started talking I told him about how my boyfriend abuses me and he said he’ll help me out. I told him I love him first and he said it was soon but he later said it. But after a day or two he hasn’t been replying to my texts and he is online. He promised to come and see me from his country and I totally understand he is busy working but why can’t he reply to my texts? Should I be worried?

    #819956 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    What does “seeing” this guy mean? Are you exclusive? How often do you see each other? From what you’re saying (“seeing each other”), he is not your boyfriend, right?–do you feel the relationship is progressing and getting more serious?

    I agree it’s not a good sign that this guy is all over his ex’s social media. Do you know how long they dated, and how long they’ve been broken up? I know I’ve asked a lot of questions instead of giving you answers (lol) but I think these are important things to consider in this situation. If he’s not making a move to progress things with you after 3 months, and seems overly attentive to his ex’s social media, it does sound like he might not be over her, unfortunately.

    #819960 Reply

    Bkgal

    Liz,

    We agreed not see other people pretty early on. We see each other on average once a week sometimes twice. I have a child so it’s not that easy for me to see him more. We’re definitely going at a slow pace.

    I wouldn’t say he’s overly attentive to her social media. He wasn’t like every post and picture but there were enough likes to give me an uneasy feeling. I don’t think they’re in particularly friendly terms, but even so her profile pic was a bit sexy so I just don’t think it was appropriate for him to like it.

    I don’t know much about his relationship with his ex, but I know they were together for about 8 months and at this point they’ve been broke up for about 6 months. I asked him once why they broke up and he just said they had a fight and never spoke again (I think there’s more to that story). He also told me when we first started seeing each other that he had reached out to her few times a couple of months after they stopped talking but nothing came of it.

    #820000 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    I’m not sure what more I can say other than I understand how you feel and I would be uncomfortable also. According to him, they broke up and stopped speaking to each other, but they’re still friends on social media and liking each other’s posts– that makes no sense. It would make more sense if he said they ended amicably and are still on good terms. But from what he’s saying, they’re not. So it sounds like there is some unfinished business between them.

    Also that he was the one to reach out multiple times after they broke up but it didn’t go anywhere…so he must have wanted to reconcile, or something.

    I really don’t know what else to say other than this stuff doesn’t really add up to me. I wouldn’t like it either. But you’re the best judge of your relationship, you should go with your gut.

    #820036 Reply

    Bkgal

    Liz,

    I’ve only seen her like one post of his and it was a pic of his children, so I wouldn’t say she’s really liking his social media.

    As for the times he reached out to her he said she responded but nothing came of it, so I don’t know if that means they’re friends, amicable or what. I know they’re not like real friends who speak and keep in touch. Either way liking some hot pic of your ex is going to raise eyebrows especially if it was a breakup with the last few years. If your liking pics of your ex from 20 years ago that may be a different story.

    #820044 Reply

    Newbie

    The question is, what are you going to do about it? To me this is not so much about what is appropriate or not, to me it says he is not that into you, ex or not. Its based on your timeline. Normally relationships establish themselves around 3 months as the intentions of both to try to become a couple are set. To me this sounds casual monogamy. Same goes for you.
    I think this is a good time to find out where you stand with him.

    #820051 Reply

    Bkgal

    Well the thing is, I think we’re just both not in a position to commit. I have a lot on my plate right now and just don’t have much spare time for a relationship, I think for him he might not particularly be looking for one since he’s got a lot going on as well. I’m fine with where we are as long as he’s not seeing anyone else, I know he’s not seeing his ex right now but given his behavior I can’t help but think he would if the opportunity arose. Just comes down to me not wanting to be seeing/dating someone who’s pining over someone else.

    #820052 Reply

    Bkgal

    Plus I can’t even confront him about it, it’s not like I can say I snooped and looked at your ex’s fb profile

    #820059 Reply

    JnL

    It sounds like you really want to get rid of him and you’re looking for excuses. Drop the “liking” worries and just dump him already!

    #820061 Reply

    weio

    this is communication’s job. ask him. if you can’t communicate, you shouldn’t be dating?

    #820064 Reply

    Newbie

    Yeah i had a feeling youre not that into him either since you said im seeing a dude since june. I also get you dont want a guy pining over an ex. But it doesnt have to be an ex. Can be a new person. But still if you also not sure how to keep going you still need to talk about it. I agree with weio. Communicate

    #820069 Reply

    Bkgal

    Let me just clarify, I am into him and I really like him. However I’m a single mother with a very young child. I only have one sister and she will watch my daughter when I see the guy. She can only watch my daughter once a week. Between work and my daughter I don’t really have extra time. I won’t get a sitter because of Covid, so my only option is my sister.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)
Reply To: Should I be worried about this?
Your information:





<blockquote> <code> <pre> <em> <strong> <ul> <ol start=""> <li>