This topic contains 14 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Lane 3 days, 22 hours ago.
May 2, 2021 at 4:28 pm #866141
Hey guys im new here this is my first post! I started talking to this new guy I met online and we met once but now im debating if I should send him a bikini picture or just post it on my story so he can slide up. My issue is that I don’t want him to think im too forward or I just have one thing in mind. We’ve been talking fro a while like almost 1 month and I kinda just wanted to spice it up. But I don’t want him to think that im slutty and after one thingMay 2, 2021 at 4:38 pm #866143
You met once. He didn’t ask you out again? Now you’re just talking?? “Spice it up” – why?? He’s not that interested.
DO NOT send him a bikini photo. Unless you just want to hit it and quit it with him. It’s not slutty but it is suggestive and if you want more from a man, you don’t do things like this until you’re in a relationship.May 2, 2021 at 5:02 pm #866147
Thanks for your advice! I decided against it anyways. We’ve talked every day for a month and facetime once. The reason why we haven’t met more than once is bc our work schedules conflict. So I really don’t think he’s not interested (or at least I hope that’s not the case). I agree with you; it is probably best to wait till we’re in a relationship for the allure of it all.
I guess I was really worried that he’s going to lose interest eventually…?? I’m not even sure at this point. Again thanks!May 2, 2021 at 5:07 pm #866148
Why do you want to ‘spice it up’ after one meeting?May 2, 2021 at 5:29 pm #866155
I feel as though “spice it up” wasn’t a great way to describe it. I want to believe that he is still very much interested. He still responds on time, is not dry, and shows genuine interest. He’ll tell me how much he likes me. I guess I’m worried about the possibility of him losing interest in me, seeing how we’ve hung out once. So my thought process led me to debate whether or not I should post a thirst trap to keep him interested.
Online dating sucks, and it just makes you overthink everything, lol.May 2, 2021 at 7:06 pm #866169
1 month is a short time to get attached to someone especially when it comes to online dating. Don’t get too emotionally invested too fast, just keep it simple have an open mind and keep your options open.
Also don’t play games with people in a bid to try and manipulate them,it always Backfires to your disadvantage. Most people who try to play these kind of games always end in tears.
Just chill and match his energy and go with the flow.May 2, 2021 at 11:23 pm #866195
You can not sex a guy into a relationship & why would you want to try?
Do you really want a guy who’s only after your p*ssy?May 3, 2021 at 1:27 am #866205
You teach people how to treat you. What’s he done to deserve being rewarded with a thirst trap photo? Good idea to skip sending that.
If your schedules really aren’t matching up, why not plan another facetime or video date in the meantime?
And if he is losing interest (since he hasn’t taken the initiative to plan a second date yet) then he was inevitably going to lose interest anyway. That’s probably not on you. Even if he is still interested and work isn’t an excuse, are you really interested in dating someone who doesn’t have time to see you and get to know you?May 3, 2021 at 3:06 am #866218
@Maddie lol at thirst trap!May 3, 2021 at 6:20 pm #866356
So.. you “met once” but was that via facetime? It kind of sounds like you’ve never met up in person.
Here’s the thing: People do what they want. If he *really* wanted to meet up with you, he’s going to bend time and schedules to meet up with you. Conflicting schedules is a convenient excuse for him. He wants your attention and your photos (apparently). But he doesn’t want to meet up with you. You are considering going outside your own comfort zone for a guy who hasn’t earned it. Think about that.
Don’t send it to him. I don’t know what your ‘gram is like but if you want to post a photo, do it because you are happy with yourself and not because you want that guy to respond. Maybe put yourself on a moratorium — as in, wait until Friday to post the photo and if by then you still want to post it, then post it. I don’t think you should post it at all, but I’m guessing you’re young and you’re going to anyway, so I’m just trying to give you some advice on that.
By the way… those photos never go away. Slutty or not, future job searches will find you. Just saying.May 3, 2021 at 7:40 pm #866369
No idea why you are thinking about doing this. By all means stick a nice thirst trap selfie on insta but sending it direct to him is absolutely desperate behaviour particularly when he is showing low interest. You can’t sex a man into a relationship. He will see it for what it is and then pump and dump!May 3, 2021 at 10:06 pm #866388
I’m with mama on this one. Any guy who is legitimately interested WILL find a way to hang out with you no matter how “busy ” he is. I personally would move on to a dude who doesn’t make you feel the need to post a thirst trap.May 4, 2021 at 12:26 am #866414
@mama, thanks for your advice! We met once, and in person, we had drinks after work, mainly bc we both work in the city and our jobs really demand so much of us. I decided against it, mainly because that’s not who I am, and I want to earn respect in this relationship. My Instagram does have pictures of me on vacation in swimsuits, but I guess deciding against sending it is most defiantly the best option.
@ Erin, I really agree with your approach; I think it’s way more important not to play games and match his energy rather than paint myself in the wrong light.
@raven, I’m sure if you’re callous, or it’s really just your writing style. However, my intention was not to make him want me just for sex. I obviously did not think it through. I really thought it would be a fun and “different” picture to send and did not really think about the ‘implications’ or the image ill be setting up for myself. I’m glad I asked the forum and had things put into perspectiveMay 4, 2021 at 12:29 am #866421
I’m not sure if you’re being callous***May 4, 2021 at 12:50 pm #866868
Why on earth would you send a bikini shot to someone who is “e-tethering” you?
If a man is keeping you on line (tethered), then a confident, strong, secure woman would say “OH HELL NO”, and drop him like a hot skillet! Stand out from the pack. Women who do what you want to do are a dime-a dozen, and why men do this, because women allow it. Don’t be “that woman!”