Ok to call or send flowers after a breakup?

That is how playing games ends.

Wow ana. To give it some perspective; he cheated on me pretty bad, that is the reason why I ended it. I didn’t want to write this here as I thought everyone would be saying I’m crazy for wanting him back. But I really think he has changed and will not cheat on me again.

There’s no way of knowing for sure, but judging from his texts he has had some time to really reflect and work with himself (he’s had some issues) and he has really owned up to what he did. I guess the only way to find out is to have a proper talk with him. I always prefer that to texting. But in this case I feel a bit intrusive calling him after all this time of no speaking.

Gina, do NOT send him flowers. He doesn’t deserve it, not even close, and most men don’t value it anyway. Do not call. Text him and say you’re open to meeting up for a chat over a drink or coffee and then leave it alone. He may not be serious, you need to give him plenty of space and time to prove he’s sorry and he’s changed his ways. A lot of guys say they want you back but as soon as you take them back, they run away because they only wanted you because you were a challenge to get.

Let him contact you. I think it is the divide whether he wanted you back really or his ego was hurt because you initiated the break-up.
Remember, you wanted the breakup, stick to it, unless he really changes for you. Ana was a bit unfair to you in her first comment, your intention to get over him seemed genuine to me, without the cheating bit. Don’t back off because of some texts, it is too easy to write such.

Women leave “details” out! because they want to do what they feel like and they are not here for advice. Then why waste everyone’s time? If you are here to hear what you want to hear then just do what you wanted to do!

But OMG were you SERIOUSLY considering sending him flowers???

Cheating is no small thing. You were smart to break up with him and two months is not enough to change. He missed you, he regretted losing you (duh!) and he has feelings for you BUT it is not enough to win you back.

You miss the best part of him but do you miss being cheated on? People don’t change overnight, they take a very long time to change. There is also this thing…once oyu cheat or lie ONCE it is easy to di it again in a relationship, because the “seal of integrity” has been broken already. And cheaters do not value the integrity as much in the first place. So in their mind, I’ve done it before, so what’s the big deal now. Thety would cheat AGAIN but hide their tracks better

But I know I am wasting my time here. You are going to take him back and send him flowers!!

Did he send you flowers during those 2 months?? No he didn’t. But you are going to reward the cheater with flowers.

Btw what do you think he’s been doing these 2 months? He was seeing other women and sleeping with them. So let me play this out for you. He cheated on you. You broke it off with him, giving him two months of freedom to taste other women, and then you take him back. Not a bad deal at all, is it? Why not do it again? You’d take him back 6 months later. More time for the V hunt. Excuse my expression!

but it makes me angry how some women have things upside down in their heads, literally asking for more and more trouble in their lives. Instead of learning a lesson and moving on. “I don’t think he is going to cheat on me again”. Right. For the next 12 months he might not. Think a little past your nose. But if it is fine by you then heck send him flowers why not? Was it going to be roses or peonies? Geez..

A couple weeks ago, my girlfriend and I broke up after I lied to her for the 3rd time in our 18 month relationship. OI know it sounds weird, but outside of that, we had an amazing relationship on all levels, intellectually, spiritually, sexually and mentally…we talked many times about getting married and starting a life together. Ewe are both a bit older, I’m 59, she’s 48.

The day after the breakup, we texted back and forth for a bit. After my last text, I didn’t hear from her, so I gave her space for a couple days. I was at an event and texted her 4 days later saying it wasn’t the same without her not being there and I missed her so much. The next day she texted me saying she was praying for my success. We exchanged some brief texts and then she finally said” we have nothing anymore” and she would appreciate it if I stopped texting her. I was crushed and didn’t respond.

One of the things we have always had was great communication and I want to send her a letter of apology and also some flowers as she absolutely loves them. I’m dying here and miss my love, my best friend and the love of my life.

Thoughts?
Thanks!

Gina, I would pass on the cheater. If you want to call him, try to remember that he cheated on you and how it made you feel. AND he will do it again.

I usually do not reply to these post, but after reading it, I had too, Listen you can do what you want to do, However, If he cheated on you once, He will do it again and again, Leave him alone stay away from him and find you someone who will love and respect you, He will say I am sorry I made a mistake, Blah Blah, You don’t take your clothes off by mistake, He made a choice to disrespect you, If you want him back, shame on you,that tells me that you don’t respect yourself, and you will I promise get hurt again, and it will ruin you for the next relationship you get in to, because you will not trust him, and you will run him off, So please think about that, you deserve better.