Need some help resolving silent treatment


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  • #812821 Reply
    Polly

    I get what you are saying. I am regretting my actions now. In the past, I have been the one to end things so never felt the brunt of rejection, but had always given a second even a third chance. And in most cases where I was interested it was reciprocated.

    He seemed like a nice guy and always treated me with patience and grace when we were talking over calls. I am just disappointed by my own actions. I just could not stop myself from asking for a second chance and I am mortified, believe me. I just feel I lost a chance at having something good.

    I realize I am actually quite inexperienced with the dating culture and especially with rejection. Top of that my attachment style and fresh pain from the last relationship did not help. I am thinking of actually stop using online channels for a while and reflect / get therapy on how to handle rejection

    #812829 Reply
    Tallspicy

    That is a good plan.

    #812857 Reply
    Newbie

    Corona, anxious and online dating is a disaster receipe so to take a break sounds like a good plan. But seriously you need to start to listen and register. None of the things we said you heard, none of the things he said you heard. Instead you carried on throwing fire ball after fire ball. Just to trigger a response. No one likes to be rejected, but i hope you can create a more ‘his loss, not mine’ mentality. This guy is not some godlike creature who was your only shot at happiness. You got infatuated, thats it. Well im sure you will get past this. But really try to listen. And take care

    #812939 Reply
    tammy

    You shld have stopped messaging him when you posted here first. almost everyone told you not to message him again. i think after apologizing if you had stayed silent, given him space and let him take the next step, things could have been salvaged.

    i get what your going through. many of us may have gone through what u went through. you realised you came on too strong and that’s why he backed off. and to correct that one episode, you kept messaging and made things which were already bad, worst.

    we get too attached after sex and then it goes downhill from there if the other person does’t get as attached as us. you came across as needy clingy slightly unstable very emotional and way more keen than him. sigh. He realized the level of your investment and interest in this was way more than his. he didnt want to hurt you so ended things. nothing to salvage here anymore. its over. he opted out.

    just jot this down as a learning curve. next time don’t have sex if you cant handle sex without attachment. some of us women do feel emotional or feel attached post sex. that may not be the case with the man. take your time. get to know where you guys stand and then take it to the next level.

    #812946 Reply
    Sophia

    You now have the closure you were looking for. Remember this is just one man, not the only man,
    in the world.

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