This topic contains 7 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by K 1 month, 1 week ago.
February 24, 2020 at 9:33 am #786079
And why you should not care about these guys until you have been dating, in person, for weeks. Because inevitably, there is always a woman here heartbroke over Tinder Disappointment. Note, I could care less about any of these guys.
Date 1. Reschedules to a brewery after I say 3 times I do not drink beer. After waiting for him for 30 minutes I leave. Message him, “best of luck”. He messages back a tirade about my insecurity and unwillingness to forgive his lateness. I unmatch. Because why. Bother.
Date 2. Never been in a relationship in his life. He is 40. Date goes well. He asks me out again for a dinner date. I accept. He messages me his number on the app. I am busy, and do not respond right away. He goes *poof* on the app. Ironically, he complained about ghosters.
Date 3. Nice guy. Date went well. Asks me out again. Have not heard since he asked me out again. He has not gone poof, but clearly not that motivated to see me again.
Date 4. We texted more than I like. Met in person. Zero chemistry, but again, a good date. I have not heard back from him.
So 3 out of 4 good dates were flakes, and 1 lacked chemistry despite 3 weeks of texting that was really amazing and felt like a connection.
THIS IS WHY YOU DO NOT GET ATTACHED TO TINDER GUYS. So do not even think about them until you’ve been on multiple dates. Period.February 24, 2020 at 11:24 am #786087
Does it apply to non-tinder dates as well?February 24, 2020 at 11:57 am #786092
I have a couple of tips about your dating experience.
Date 1 -I simply would have said no thanks to the Brewery. Why agree to go somewhere that you have no interest in?
Date 2- A 40 year old man who has never been in a relationship is a no. Once you heard that no reason to keep the conversation going. There’s a reason for him not being in a relationship.
Date 3- Don’t write the guy off just yet. Has it even been a week since that date?
Date 4- Stop all that texting, its better to meet people sooner than later. All that texting was time wasted.
My suggestion is to try screening potential dates a little more before accepting a date. When I was dating online when I started screening more, my dates started to be of better quality and I ultimately found someone.February 24, 2020 at 12:13 pm #786096
Oh believe me, when I was dating online I had some rather interesting experiences too! Not too dissimilar to Anon’s. When I was ready to throw in the towel, I met my current boyfriend on Tinder. We’ve been together 18 months.
There is hope! We have to kiss a few frogs first lol!February 24, 2020 at 12:22 pm #786098
How on earth do you find the time?
Totally agree with Khadija in that I wouldn’t have even gone on a date with nos. 1, 2, or 4!
Even with a No. 3 maybe 2 dates in a month and spent more of that time doing fun things while meeting men in person (offline) so you don’t waste that kind of time and energy meeting duds. When you meet in person you know pretty darn quickly if they are a yes, possible, or no thanks…to many misfires online haha.February 24, 2020 at 7:57 pm #786140
Lots of flakes out there….know this going in and readjust your expectations. You will be calmer and happier.February 24, 2020 at 8:17 pm #786142
T from NY
Some important things to remember about dating online or any where you meet a man —
1) Be in a good emotional place. And it’s OK to be disappointed or irked when a dude flakes or acts like an arse. You’re human and it’s okay to have reactions. But watching always not to become bitter. But always hopeful and able to mostly laugh stuff off!
2) I have had a couple of different healthy, exciting, even-life changing relationships with men I’ve met on Tinder. But MOST are there for fun, sex, ordering girls like a pizza and that’s their right as an adult in that type of app. You have to be willing to weed, and vet, and keep being lighthearted to find the good men. They are definitely there but YEARS can go by before you meet them. I take LOTS of breaks and always tend to me first – before dating.
3) Dating is MOSTLY about rejection, disappointment and striking out – until you find something beautiful. I go on a lot less dates than I used to because I’ve gotten so good at vetting men and the one’s that are open to something long term are the minority on Tinder. But the quality of the men has been much higher. And I think I may have recently found a keeper – on Tinder. Good luck!February 24, 2020 at 8:53 pm #786143
I feel sorry for next week’s line-up.
I’m going to be blunt. The dates and this post are a big waste of your time and a giant hit of negativity. Stop bitching… and raise your standards. Unless you want to be alone the rest of your life because you have such a bad attitude about men. No idea why you keep putting yourself through this kind of torture, it isn’t necessary. Sure you’ve gotta kiss a few frogs but this is ridiculous. Largely self-inflicted.