Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › My ex wants to know who my new woman is but , i don’t think it’s her business
- This topic has 15 replies and was last updated 4 years, 4 months ago by
Tallspicy.
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Mike
I posted a status on Facebook saying “i love my new girlfriend” and my sons mom (my ex) commented and asked “who was it because it was a lot of women that liked my status” and i said “it’s none of you’re business who I’m dating she knows who she is”
And she commented back “ seems like you have some confusion going on , imma mind my business though, you and yours new girl can handle your fans because it seems like clarification is needed”
Then i said “okay” and she texted me and said “idgaf who your new girlfr is as long as she don’t come between you and your son”
Lane
To be honest you are being disrespectful to your ex and your child. Seriously, you are coming off like a jerk and not being considerate to her which will reflect on your son, whereby, you are teaching him its OK to be nasty and snarky to women, regardless if you are together or not, which is not something your child needs to learn from you.
I think you need to reflect really hard on why you need to speak to her that way instead of calling and discussing it with her privately like a mature adult? Don’t drag your child into this crap, trust me, they are already dealing with enough life crap and don’t more crap coming from the very adults who are suppose to be making them feel safe and secure, not being pulled into a tug-o-war with their parents!
You need to tell her “Sorry, I was acting like a jerk. As our son’s mother you have a right to know who she is as I know you worry about his safety and welfare. Her name is _____, and
I will make sure if I introduce them down the road that she won’t harm or be a danger to him in any way.” Do not introduce ladies too early…vet them first to make sure they are decent before introducing them to your child, they don’t need a revolving door of ‘lady friends’ in their lives as it can really mess up their sense of safety and security.Raven
The whole thing sounds like a lot of drama…
Mike
My new woman is never around my son because the relationship is too fresh
Lane
Then don’t go rubbing it in her face or calling her your “new woman” if its that fresh. I don’t know how long you’ve been separated/divorced or how old your child is but they are watching and listening to everything you say or do so it would behoove of you to stop ‘sharing’ so much until such time you’ve known them well enough to introduce your child to them.
Our youngest son (aged 16 at the time) started calling my ex husband “a man whore” after our divorce as he felt the need to broadcast a “new woman” (they lasted less than a few months) as if that made him a stud or something. I didn’t give a flying flip (I did do the *eye roll* when they came up on my FB feed) but after a few of them I noticed other’s started to see him just as pathetic and stopped congratulating or even liking it. Guess he finally grew up or out of it and stopped doing it but is this really what you want your child to see, hear, or worse, think of you as a “man whore?”
Tallspicy
You seriously sound like you are a teenager. Grow up. And if your girlfriend encourages this, then she also has the maturity of a teenager.
Healthy people do not do blind items on social media.
Healthy people introduce their ex spouses to they new partners or let them know early and kindly.
Healthy people do not announce to the world someone important before their children know about them (and that should be at least 3 months on.
Dangerouse
Yeah, why you gotta brag on Facebook? Grow up.
Paige
If you have a child together and that child is going to be around your girlfriend…do you really have to ask why she wants to know who it is?
Grow up. Be a father instead of a sperm donor.
Understand that when you made a baby, you took on certain responsibilities and lost certain freedoms – and that doesn’t change just because you and his mother are no longer together.
I would NEVER have had a guy around my child without telling her father his name (at minimum). I wouldn’t have allowed her to be around his girlfriend without knowing something about her, either – regardless of how much he “loved” her.
kaye
“i love my new girlfriend”- Do you even understand how immature this is? Your NEW girlfriend? I mean as opposed to your old girlfriend? Why would you even have to say she’s your new girlfriend? Why couldn’t you just say you love your girlfriend? And I’m sorry but if it’s “too fresh” and she hasn’t met your son then even putting this status on FB is looking for attention and drama. As someone else said.. Grow up.
Better off single
She’s jealous. Probably doesn’t want to see you happy. Just ignore it.
Better off single
Post WETF you want to. It’s your social media. And i bet it made your new girlfriend feel good.
Mike
I’m not sure why, we ended on good terms but what i find odd is that she still has our family picture as her profile picture on Facebook we’ve been broken up
Liz Lemon
If she still has your family picture as her profile picture on FB, she is NOT over you. Whether or not you broke up on good terms isn’t relevant. She’s not over it.
How long have you been broken up?
I agree with what’s been said about not inviting drama by making those types of posts. I would suggest not even being friends with your ex on social media. What for? So she can monitor and comment on your personal life?
If you do decide you want to stay FB friends, you can block her from seeing certain posts. FB lets you control what is visible. It’s very easy to mark a post as invisible to one person. You could block her from seeing any posts or photos relating to your girlfriends or love life. Although really it would be a whole lot easier if you were not FB friends with her at all. You could just politely tell her that in the interests of keeping your relationship with her cordial and drama-free, you’d prefer not to be friends with her on social media. Then defriend her.
Mike
For six months. I was scared that if i told her that she would keep my son away from me
relaxy taxi
It’s probably not appropriate to have your ex-girlfriend as Facebook “friends” out of respect for your new relationship.
But, that’s your judgement call.
Co-parenting existed before the invention of Facebook so I don’t see the need for it as a vehicle in order to co-parent your children.
Tallspicy
So you post it on social media where she either follows you or you are public? Brilliant idea. You both sound like people are not mature enough to be good parents. Please please please mature a bit, for the sake of your son.
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