Home › Forums › How To Get My Ex Back › My ex boyfriend says he misses me but hasn’t responded since I told
This topic contains 4 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Khadija 2 months, 1 week ago.
I also posted this in redit but I just need as much advice as possible lol.
My ex and I were together for 4 months and he was the sweetest most loving guy I’d ever met. We weren’t together very long but had a long “talking stage”. We broke up right after his 21st birthday when his brother basically told him he looked like sh*t. My ex was working in construction 40 hours a week and traveling 4+ hours every weekend to see me (as I was in a different town for school). He was exhausted and felt like he had no time for himself which is why he ended things. He said he “couldn’t take care of himself so he didn’t feel like he could be a good boyfriend and take care of me”
I obviously tried to convince him that this wasn’t the solution and I’d work to try and see him more but he ended things. (He also has a heart condition and had just had an emergency appointment and so he was stressed about all of that)
When he broke up with me, he told me he loved me and would always love me.
It’s been about 2 months since the break up and I was worried about him.
I decided to text him (breaking our no contact since the breakup). The conversation went as follows:
Me: Hey… I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing and make sure you got the package I sent. You don’t have to reply and can treat this like a voice mail.
Him: Do you want the honest truth?
Him: I cried when I opened it
Him: I cried when I read the notes
Him: I cried when I saw Cookie
(I wrote little notes in the box and since I didn’t see him for his birthday I included his gifts. Cookie was a Minecraft dog stuffy he gave me)
At this point I was crying and called my friend because I felt awful for making him cry. I had wanted him to cry when he opened it and sprayed my perfume all over his hoodies etc. my friend said I should tell him that and be honest.
Me: Do you want me to be honest?
Me: I wanted you to cry.. that’s why I sprayed perfume on everything. Because I was hurt. But I wanted you to know I cared.
I then didn’t hear from him after that so the next day I texted him this
Me: I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have reached out. I just wanted you to know I care about you and I want you to be happy.
Him: And yet that’s all I want for you
Him: I’m sorry
Me: Are you happy tho? Are you doing okay?
Him: Yes and no
Him: I’ve been trying to focus on work, I’ve been late a lot less I’ve been traveling less been able to save a little bit of money
Him: But I miss you
Me: Well that’s good that you’ve been able to focus on work. I miss you too.
After that he didn’t reply and it’s been 3 days. I don’t know if I should reach out again or leave him alone. I don’t know what to say. I love this man and I want to be with him but I just want him to be okay. I also don’t really understand why he would tell me he misses me but then not talk to me.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I really don’t know what to do.
Leave him alone. He has feelings, and you messed with them, but it doesn’t change the situation at all, so of course he’s upset and hot and cold now. It’s too taxing on him to do long distance, and the only way that changes is if you have reason to move closer to him after you graduate. But you’re both so young that he shouldn’t be the reason for you to do that, especially since 4 months isn’t that long to get to know each other. Doubly so when you’re young enough that you’re both still going to change a lot. Breakups feel terrible, especially when they’re about something other than feelings and compatibility, but you need to give everything time to breathe. It’s okay to be apart, do your own thing, and not know what the future holds. But if you truly want him to be okay now, you said your piece so let him live his life and heal.
Go and meet him with a small gift
He likes you and while he misses you, right now the circumstances prevent him from being with you. Who knows what the future holds? But for the present pls take this as over unless you hv plans to move closer to his place. Stop chasing him and stop trying to get him by playing all these emotional games. At this stage in his life, he cannot handle this relationship along with his other stuff and its taxing on him physically and affecting hos health.
If you genuinely care for this guy pls let it be for now. Besides while he misses you, so far he has not given any indication that he wants to get back.
Leave him alone so he can focus on his health and well being. He had a legit reason for breaking things off, honor that.
If life changes and he wants to give things another go he knows where to find you.
I get it break ups hurt but, you need to move on.
That box you sent was your way to get him back and it didn’t work, accept that.