Mixed Signals and How To Interpret Them

You are young so I going to give you a “schooling on the hard knocks of life.” The one thing you need to start learning now, while your young is that you cannot control how other people think or feel! You are only in control of your thoughts, feelings, and actions but you cannot hold anyone else responsible or accountable to them just because they don’t feel the same way you do. He has every right to like this other lady the way HE wants to like her, no differently than he has many different levels of “like” or “love” with many other people in his life, which is wholly out of your control—he gets to chose it, not you.

I have rejected 100’s of guys’s over many decades because I simply didn’t have any romantic feelings for them. They were just “friends” in my mind because that’s how I felt about them, and there was nothing they could say or do to change my mind because my mind was made up. On the flip side, many guy’s rejected me too but I didn’t get butt hurt over it, I accepted it, and moved on to a guy who didn’t—-makes relationships sooooooo much easier!

Adulthood is full of a lot of rejections, so get used to it. You will be rejected in love; rejected in your professional life; rejected in your financial life; rejected in your personal life; rejected in your family life; etc. Life isn’t Burger King where you can’t have everything your way, and need to start preparing yourself for the really big/major rejections; whereas this is nothing but a teeny tiny drop in the big bucket of life disappointments.

Lol lane, a tiny drop in the big bucket of life disappointments. Youre having a bad day? But i do know the feeling

thanks newbie thanks lane
I guess i just have one other question then.
So the guy just texted me about our plans for his birthday and he still insists that I make him his favorite cake and then meet up half-way to give it to him. Additionally, whenever we get back to college he said that he wanted me to paint his nails (for fun), but both of these things are just between me and him. Is this considered awkward in just a small degree if he truly like another girl right now?

You really have to learn to love yourself first. You ask a guy who is not into you of he needs space from you, distance from you etc. Come on girl, youre not on the planet to act like that. You need to stand up for yourself. Right now i would end the confusion with a: Hi E, you know i like you but since that is not mutual i need time for myself and space from you, so that maybe later i can be your friend. You really need to distance yourself from him for yourself

Agree with Newbie that he is only seeing you as “a friend.” Listen he likes you, likes hanging out with you, likes talking to you but he doesn’t want to romance you which is what a man does when he likes a lady that way.

I don’t think its possible for you to be his “friend” based on how you feel about him, and he feels about you. The best thing to do in this situation is to pull way back so to cool your emotions, and stop try audition for his ‘girlfriend’ as its the man’s job to show you what a great BF he would make! That man will go all out to show you when he really really likes a lady, and that’s he best dynamic to go into it with.

Know this: “GIVING” is the MALE ENERGY, and “RECEIVING” is the FEMALE ENERGY. (Look it up) When you take on the male energy, and do the giving (initiating, calling, doing things for the man), it does not attract them but makes you look/appear ‘clingy’, especially if over done, so don’t start or go down that road. Be the feminine energy, and you’ll attract more guys. As an FYI, I’m a female Alpha, and even I know how to use my feminine wiles (energy) to attract men without having to do anything but show up, be appreciative for what they do, step back, and allow them to continue doing the work to capture my heart, because I captured his. Keep meeting/dating men, and you’ll figure it out when a guy is crushing on you :o)

He has basically told you that you are the back up girl- gross! You don’t want to be *that* girl!!

You cannot be friends with someone you want more with its just not possible because you’ll be analysing all the time everything he does that might mean he likes you more.

He is going to take all you give him because he is getting a gf experience whilst waiting for the other girl.

You need to take newbies advice. Nicely tell him you need space and take that space to work him out of your system. Seriously you deserve so much more and he knows it.

Take the control back and let him feel the loss of you. I don’t think it will change much but he will know that you are not for playing with.

Good luck xx

And for future reference:.real romance is weird. Like lane said, you dont need to lift a finger except showing up. Its really true.

Don’t feel stupid. It happens all the time and this is just your first experience of this. You’ll know for next time.

I echo the recommendation for why men love bi**ches. It really explains why being the *nice girl* is just not going to help you in dating. It doesn’t mean you really be a bi**h it just tells you about valuing yourself and not playing to a guys tune.

Men aren’t bad – but they will milk whatever is on offer if you let them. The key word is YOU. You need to value yourself and not play the nice girl because if you bend over backwards for a guy that isn’t your boyfriend they are going to keep pushing to see how much they can get. At least this guy hasn’t gone the sex/fwb route!