Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Lovebombing/moving too fast/confused
- This topic has 3 replies and was last updated 3 months ago by
Maddie.
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Jayne
I have been dating a guy for under 2 months. He is funny and charming but things have moved quite quick with him. I’m a person who likes to take time to get to know someone, so I’m feeling a bit rushed. In the first 3 weeks I already met his family, he asked me to be his girlfriend and he has spoken about plans 2 years in the future and even marriage, getting a house etc. I have told him I like to take things slow as I have been hurt in the past. That I would rather spend the time getting to know someone. He wasn’t too accepting of this and said he doesn’t work like that. I explained it can’t just be one person forcing the other as the relationship would derail. We have spent a few weekends together with me staying at his. He keeps asking me to stay in the working week which for me is a no as I don’t sleep well at his and I have to work the next day. Recently he has been busy working late and helping with a friends reno project on a condo. He has been spending hours after work doing this and all weekend. He doesn’t seem to want to make time to see me in the day, but only wants to slot me around his time. I want to spend the day with him and enjoy our time together, not just end up being his night time convenience. The initial love bombing has made me feel trapped. I just don’t know what to do or what to say to him. I want to have a relationship without feeling pushed and also like a convenience.
AngieBaby
This whole story is WEIRD. That’s a lot in a very short space of time. Why are you allowing him to steamroll right over you?? It doesn’t work that way – WTF? He doesn’t have any respect for your wishes. I’d walk away, this isn’t going to get any better and you two are clearly not on the same page. This won’t end well. He’s very controlling. He’s using you to tick the “I have a girlfriend” box.
tammy
he seems quite controlling and used to having his way. when he suggests meeting late evening, you can say how about so and so day early evening for dinner and then movie. do not stay overnight or go to his place if it’s during the week. or you can suggest meeting for weekend brunch. I think you need to start putting your foot down and suggest alternatives to his plans. if you keep falling in line with his suggestions and as per his convenience, you set the mode and mood of this relationship. try this and see. just dont fall in with his plans if you not happy with his plans.
Maddie
You don’t sound confused, you sound stuck in a power struggle. You know what you want and he’s not giving it to you. Listen to the other posters, he is controlling and doesn’t respect you or your wishes. Trust your gut and don’t stick around.
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