This topic contains 12 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Tidd 2 weeks ago.
January 18, 2023 at 9:51 am #940155
My bf said he didn’t have IG when we first started a year ago. I decide to look and see it. Only following 9, no followers. All women, all w their asses out. Three look like his exwife who doesn’t like like me in stature or race. That hurt. But I recovered. I tested him he swore he didn’t have it. Also fought w me about continuing to fight w him (we had 2 days of arguments cuz I caught him in a lie but then saw I misunderstood something) anyway he says no finally and I send him the screenshot. He gets angry says he didn’t do that. I decide to use every email to see which one opens it. None are associated or even have an IG open. Then I use his phone and in front of me he checks the links and it leads him to “unavailable webpage,”
Now I’m starting to believe him except one of the women’s pictures was liked. Just one. I’ve checked all the others.
He’s telling me flag it down so it’s taken down. He’s thinking it’s his exwife and she’s trying to destroy him which I believe for other obvious reasons. But this is bothering me. Did he lie? Can a stranger open an IG? If they used his ph number to do so wouldnt they have had to have his phone present to input the access code?
I’m just wondering what’s truth…January 18, 2023 at 10:02 am #940156
You are way too worried about a social media account. It honestly sounds like you have trust issues that you are projecting onto him. IG accounts get hacked, scammed, copied all the time and if he has a bitter ex it is definitely possible. Sounds like this guy is innocent and even if he did have an IG account forgot all about it.
It sounds like you are looking for a reason to not trust your bf.January 18, 2023 at 11:35 am #940158
but one of the accounts he’s following has a liked picture of him. Also, one of the accounts he follows was followed on FB. And another was of a girl he told me about on youtube. and another account was of a girl on fb where he liked a picture of hers.
What now?January 18, 2023 at 11:51 am #940159
Omg someone liked a pic of him! Break up with him immediately! <—- do you see how crazy that sounds?
I’m all about trusting your gut if you think a guy is doing some shady stuff on social media but it really, really doesn’t sound like this is the case here.
It honestly looks like you are fishing for a reason to not trust this man. How is everything else in your relationship? Is he a good partner? Is his having social media a deal breaker for you? Because I can guarantee that there will be other women that like his stuff on FB, IG, etc. that are just liking it because it’s likeable and not because they have designs or your man or he has designs on them.January 18, 2023 at 12:33 pm #940160
No, HE liked a pic of someone. So that means it can’t be a fake account…
Everything is ok, until I started helping him deal with his visitation issues with his exwife. I started noticing that the situation that should’ve been resolved years ago isn’t. And it led me down a rabbit hole of searching for the truth.
He told me she couldnt cook, then I see posts online where he’s praising her cooking. He tells me she used to walk ahead of him I find an old post where he is apologizing for walking ahead of HER.
For someone like me who has been through hell and back, and explained my trauma to, I find it unnerving when he can’t give me straight answers. Or when i feel I’m being lied to. I jump to these extremes.January 18, 2023 at 1:44 pm #940161
You started out saying “I thought he had an IG, and then I interrogated all possible sources to connect him to it and I found no proof at all”. No proof. Then in your next post, you’re acting as if it is his account. Maybe something happened that helped prove it’s his account, but all the evidence sounds really weak. But I also don’t understand why any of that matters. Pressing the “like” button on a post is meaningless. Social media is all a pretend toxic world — IG exists only to make you mad.
I think you need to let the whole IG thing go. If you never came across this IG account, how would things be different with him? Are there other trust issues that you need to resolve with him? That’s where you should focus.January 18, 2023 at 1:51 pm #940162
It matters simplly because he lied about having it. And the women he chose to follow all look like his ex, who doesnt’ look like me in stature or coloring. So not only is it effectng my self esteem, which sure, we can say don’t let it but that’s impossible, but he lied about having it.
I’m the type of person where if you tell me the god awful truth – I’ll trust you forever because you told me!January 18, 2023 at 2:05 pm #940163
So… Break up with him & move on.January 18, 2023 at 2:14 pm #940164
Agree with Raven….if you can’t get over it and it’s affecting your self esteem, causing you this much distress, and you can’t trust him, then end the relationship. It sounds like he’s not being honest, at the very least he’s not being upfront.January 18, 2023 at 3:18 pm #940166
IG is a red herring. The bottom line: You don’t trust him to the point you think he’s gaslighting you.
We’ve no idea if he is or isn’t. But … It’s sort of like the chicken and the egg debate — are you being an obsessive stalker because he’s gaslighting you or are you being an obsessive stalker because of your own relationship language?
Honestly I think IG is the least of your problems.January 20, 2023 at 12:23 am #940179
I disagree with the other posters here. From the info that you have provided K honestly feel that it was his own IG and he was lying about not having it. I would say trust your guy and breakup with him. Guys who roam around online following n*ked women are not dateable.January 21, 2023 at 10:56 pm #940200
I question I.G. as a topic of conversation with him, as to me, it feels a wanting to control a person.January 24, 2023 at 9:50 pm #940230
You two need to separate.
Break up with him and work on yourself.
You aren’t healthy enough to to be in a relationship.
You have low self esteem, self respect, self worth, self dignity.
You also have trust issues.
You’ll never trust him regardless if he’s cheating or not. You’ll always be paranoid and playing detective looking for things.
Worrying and stressing when you don’t have to.
Stop dating men with ex wives and exes still in the picture.
Work on yourself first and in the future when you’re healthy and love yourself if you resume dating date a strickly single person with no attachments.
His ex wife is still in the picture…somehow. whether he placed her there or not.. she’s still around.
You don’t have to put up with all of this.
He’s not worth the drama
This relationship isn’t healthy anyways.
You are in an unhealthy relationship that you need to get out of.