Just found out he has a gf

A “polite and thoughtful guy” with a girlfriend, doesn’t chat up another chick on a daily basis…

Also, you’ve not met in person?

I wonder what his GF would think of his daily texts & calls to you…

Since you’re interested in romantically, you need to cut him off and move on. Don’t be THAT woman.

Tell him you feel uncomfortable talking every day with a man who has a GF, because you know you wouldn’t like it if you found out your BF had contacted a woman he didn’t know on social media and struck up a “friendship” and was talking to her every single day.

Say that and see what he says.

It’s EXTREMELY shady that you’ve been talking to this guy daily for a month and he’s never even mentioned a girlfriend! She never came up in conversation, not once? When you asked him what did he that day, or what his plans are for the weekend, he doesn’t say “My girlfriend and I….” He’s hiding it for a reason, probably because he wants to cheat.

I also agree with what’s been said, that it’s inappropriate for a man in a relationship to strike up a “friendship” with daily calls to a woman he met online. If the shoe were on the other foot, and HIS girlfriend was talking daily to a man she’d met online, I bet he would NOT be okay with it.

Are you too just exchanging platonic, generic type messages? Or is he revealing a lot of his personal life & trying to get close as a friend? If the former, I don’t see the problem with being casual here and there.

Raven. I can have an opinion either way.

@Liz Lemon, every time we talk and ask about each other day he would only say he went out with friends or he didn’t do much mainly home due to restrictions. It’s only when I ask if he has a gf that’s when he said yes. Last weekend when we were msging I ask what his plan for the weekend and it was the first time he said he might be visiting his gf. So I thought maybe he does only see me as a friend since he was comfortable talking about seeing his gf.

He msg me everyday but we only ever talk on the phone twice. But I do agree that it is not right for him to talk to me everyday when he has a gf.

@Angiesbaby, thank you for sharing your story with me. I understand and agree that I have given him a lot of my time and attention already. It is not worth it.

@Sara, I think it is platonic. We don’t constantly text either only a few msgs a day. He do talk about himself a bit but not very often or a lot.

Also seconding Andrea. Well put.

Not sure if I mention this but we live in different country so I think he only see me as a friend.

We will probably never meet in person, so I just think that staying friends doesn’t harm anyone. We also only have really short conversations, just asking how our days are.

Is it true that a guy can’t just be friend with a girl? How do I know if he want more because so far it just seem like we’re casual friends.

He is being duplicitous in the fact that he was not forthcoming about having a girlfriend. You think distance is keeping this “platonic” but there such things as emotional affairs.

Please don’t be this naive.

Men and women can absolutely be just friends. That usually comes with meeting in real life and connecting platonically. Men in other countries who are hitting up random single women when they already have girlfriends are not looking for friends. They’re looking for attention, validation, a side piece (if you were local), or to scam you out of money.

If this were related to professional networking or even if you have common interests and it was more organic, the fact that he talks to you daily and didn’t mention a gf for the first month means he’s not just looking for a friend. It would still be an occasional contact if innocent bonding over a mutual interest or talent, and a significant other would be mentioned in most contexts (maybe not right away if it was professional networking and staying strictly professional, which this sounds like it was not).

You know all the context clues and what is going on here. But you’ll see it however you want to if you want to justify making an emotionally intimate connection with a taken stranger from the internet if you’re lonely and in need of connection yourself. Be careful, pull it back, and try to seek out real connections elsewhere that are more local. Platonic or otherwise. You do not need to chat every day of the week with a guy whom you’ve never actually met and who has a girlfriend (a girlfriend that he says things are “hard” with since lockdown!! FWIW, I met my boyfriend during lockdown and things between us aren’t hard at all, even though the pandemic itself sucks… sounds like a validation-seeking excuse to me). Don’t sell yourself short.