Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Is my bestfriend trying to take my boyfriend
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tammy.
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Lujin
Hello guys i just wanna state that i have trust issues and that’s why i just wanna know if she actually is trying to do something or is it just my trust issues.
She’s my bestfriend for the past year i think but she has alot of bestfriends so it’s not like im her num1 bestfriend or anything.
I’ve noticed ever since i started dating my bestfriend she started taking other peoples side when they say i did a mistake, she’s never not blaming me about it but that’s no issues im just the way i am.
I’ve noticed when she’s around my boyfriend she becomes funnier for some reasons always saying jokes always want his attention?? And that one time we were taking a picture together she came in the middle and said it in a jokingly way “ you’re not taking Pictures without me” but i took it as a joke
Later on I’ve noticed she didn’t text for so long and when she did she’s like “let’s hang” i got so happy and i told her suree when but what she replied with shocked me “ bring your boyfriend too” now that’s some red flags for me and idk if that’s cuz i have trust issues but i didn’t want to include him with her so i told her he’s busy tdy he cant and she replied with “ okie whtvr i’ll just come over i didn’t really want to go out anyways” and she ended up sleeping over that day, the next day we were talking Normally and she satiated that she’s going out with her friends tdy at 8pm later on that day my boyfriend texted me he wanted to hangout and she saw the notification then i’ve noticed it became 7:30 and she still didn’t get ready to go with her friends so i asked her “are u going with your friends tdy” she replied with “ nahh im just gonna go with you guys” now that’s weird because she would never do that she never left her friends to go out with me so i jusy dropped it and when we went out i found her begging my boyfriend to take his juice from her and she ended up taking it like 3 times even he noticed there’s smth wrong with her.
What should i do? I dont want to admit it to her and text her because she’s gonna make me sound crazy In front of everyoand they’re all gonna hate me
Give me some advice pls and tyNewbie
Besides trust issues you also have english grammar and writing issues which makes it really diffilcult to read. Im still not sure how to take your she is begging my bf to take her juice and she ended up taking it 3 times lines. So i can only say two things. You cant go through life accepting you have trust issues. Why are you having them? You dont trust people in general or you dont trust people who claim to love you? And do you have them because you feel less than other people and are always worried people will leave you? Im saying this because youre supposed to work through your trust issues instead of accepting them as a character ‘treat’. Secondly i cant say anything about your bf but your friend sounds sort of crazy from what i can make of it and you seem under her spell. Part of growing up is also weed out people who are not good for you. Now like i said before your story is mumbo jumbo to me but it could be she and her gang are not good friends.
So you notice a lot of things, mostly minor things but you need to focus on bigger things: how are your relationships working for you, do they make you feel good, do they make you feel loved or do they make you anxious. Get in touch with your gut and yourself to become your own authentic person.
Yes i know i sound like grandma here but thats the best response i have over high school drama. Take care and just check out if you and your bf are on the same page. If you are crazy friend cant get in betweenRaven
Stop letting her know when You Two are going out…
Un-invite her along with You Two.Anderson
What makes this person your “best friend?”
Paige
I agree with Newbie that your English as a second language skills are not the best and your post is not easily understood (and I know she didn’t type that in a mean way), but even with those issues, I can spot the source of your problem right away.
Keep in mind that this is just my opinion – a philosophy based on my observations over the years.
Your problem is that you have friends who are girls.
Let me explain:
When I was in grammar school, I saw girls as young as 10 stabbing each other in the back over boys. Fifth grade – and they were vicious. No tactic was too low use or rumor too mean to spread.
I like to say that at that point in my life, I was 5 feet tall and 5 feet wide, so I was no threat to them. However, I watched their behavior, observed the fallout and damage to other girls’ self-esteem – and I vowed then that I would only have friends that were boys from that point on.
My 10-year-old logic was solid:
A male best friend would never try to steal my boyfriend – and if he DID manage to do that, that would not have been the boy for me anyway.
That was simplistic – but I was only 10.
I changed schools when I was in 7th grade. I met my best friend in homeroom on the first day of class – the Tuesday after Labor Day, 1966. I subsequently made two other best friends – and while there were other complications (getting involved with one of them as more than a friend when I was 17), these three guys are still my best friends to this very day.
My advice to you is to replace your female friends with male ones. We’d like to believe that sh%tty women grow up to be wonderful women who would NEVER THINK of having an affair with her best friend’s boyfriend/husband, but a quick reading of this site’s posts will let you know that, sadly, that’s not the case very often.
Your boyfriend will still have temptations during your relationship (as will you) and you will have to deal with those (along with money, kids, in-laws, sickness, death and conflicts as small as his refulsal to put down the toilet seat after he goes), but why knowlingly add to the regular stresses of being involved with another person beyond the ones that everyone will always have?
My co-contributers might disagree with my advice – and YOU might disagree with my advice – but I wanted to let you know what has worked for me over the last 54 years.
(My God – has it been that long? Well, THAT’S going to bum me out for the rest of the day. LOL)
Seriously, good luck to you. Relationships are hard enough without having to worry about your best friend’s motives.
tammy
your friend’s behavior sounds doubtful to me as well. just cut her out from your social outings with your bf. and if she tries to pile on you can politely tell her that you want to spend some alone time with your bf. and that you can hong out with her on any other day. why let her tag along when your not confident about your friend?
in such cases usually trust your gut instincts. this has happened to me some years back, infact with 2 of my close females friends.
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