Is it really true that men don't like independent women? He left me?

It’s not about independence. People like to feel needed or wanted by their partner.

I’m sorry you are hurting. It sounds like you each want and need something else in a partner. You need someone stronger, and he needs someone weaker. That’s okay — you need different things. You are in your early 20s and this is stuff we learn about ourselves in that decade.

I hope you take some time to heal, and appreciate yourself for who you are.

Don’t twist up and change who you are because you got feedback from one guy who is not exactly looking for an equal partner. His opinion is very subjective. It’s one thing if you get feedback that you were treating someone poorly or disrespectfully or inconsistently. That’s something people should probably take note of and take to heart (assuming it’s true feedback). But something like this is about fit and compatibility, and not about your value or appeal at all. He wasn’t the right fit for you. No one is the bad guy (well, aside from it not being classy that he quickly moved on to date your friend), and there’s no reason to question yourself here. You’ll meet someone who appreciates you for you and wants the same kind of relationship you do. It may not be soon, as you are young and the comments above that there are many weak men around are correct, but good matches are out there.

Agree with a lot of the advice here. What I second:

-“most men want to feel needed or they want to be bossed around.” Never heard that but yes definitely witnessed that tons of times and no, sorry, not good enough for me. Because the bottom line is, those men, like lots of women, usually have no idea what they want, so they just latch onto whatever anyone else is doing. Again, not good enough for me.
-“don’t change yourself for a man, no matter what”- YAS. ALWAYS. If you go through life just changing everything about yourself just to get a man to pay attention to you your neediness will shine through like it’s written in skywriting and when they drop you you’ll be nothing but hurt and confused.
-paraphrasing here, but there was the bit about “men not liking masculinity in a girl/bring out your girly/feminine side”

Ok so that’s a big one- but here’s the thing. Yes I’ve seen that over and over. BUT- my question to you is- do you want to change yourself just for a man? I’ve totally met women who may be brainwashed, granted, but who genuinely like “girly” things, but stifled them like crazy in the name of “being strong” or “how to be taken seriously” or “growing up” or whatever bill of rights they were sold. (I know I’m majorly overly simplifying here but stay with me). Well, when some of those women learned men actually like that, and therefore became “feminine” again- well that’s a lot more likely yield positive results because it at least came from a place of authenticity. In other words, if you love makeup or fashion, but stifled it because of someone else’s f***ed up reasons why you “should” stifle it, then by all means bring those interests right back! But I’m a big believer in don’t just act feminine to win a man- if you hate skirts and heels or “letting him care for you”- then don’t do those things. A woman who unabashedly enjoys herself and knows what she wants- *thats* ****ing sexy, to any man. I promise you this.

You’re young, you’ll get this, just ask yourself what you’d do if no one else cared- it will change your life, I promise. Living by whatever everyone thinks you should do is like tiptoeing through life just to make it safely to death. Don’t tiptoe! Be yourself!

Good luck and always, have compassion for yourself, past and future. Let us know how it goes and you can always come back and post here if you need help!

Hugs and thanks to anyone still reading this far:)

-Dex