This topic contains 7 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Keira 1 month, 1 week ago.
June 20, 2021 at 4:03 am #885119
I have been dating this guy since February, for the first two months everything was fine he initiated contact and dates but when he got super busy at work he stopped planning dates but used to text me everyday throughout the day and call me once or twice a week until now. 3 weeks ago we had a talk (initiated by me) about what we felt for each other where he said that he liked me a lot and he could be himself around me and liked me having around him but he was a bit scared of commitment as he has been hurt in the past. His last relationship was of 4 years. Since the talk he has been acting a bit distant and is talking hours to reply texts, sometimes even 12/13 hours but he does initiate most of the texts. When I told him that he takes long time to reply he answer was “I know, but it’s not the best period for me and I am too tired to drive a conversation but you could to do that” . He is allergic to pollen and says that is making him sleepy and exhausted all the time.
I haven’t seen in two weeks, I asked him to meet on Sunday and he said he will let me know and today is Sunday and he hasn’t confirmed yet.
I don’t understand what to do, I have been giving him space, I don’t text often unless he texts me.June 20, 2021 at 7:29 am #885164
Hey Sara love
He is not pulling away, he has already pulled away, I’m afraid you’re now in this relationship alone
“3 weeks ago we had a talk (initiated by me) about what we felt for each other where he said that he liked me a lot and he could be himself around me and liked me having around him but he was a bit scared of commitment as he has been hurt in the past. His last relationship was of 4 years. Since the talk he has been acting a bit distant and is talking hours to reply texts, sometimes even 12/13 hours but he does initiate most of the texts. When I told him that he takes long time to reply he answer was “I know, but it’s not the best period for me and I am too tired to drive a conversation but you could to do that” .
There is you answer
He’s not ready to commit
Still has hang ups from his last relationship
Take a while day to reply to texts and when he does text you it’s just half as*ed texts which leave you feeling empty and frustrated. This is a sign of a guy who is not thinking about you and treats you as an afterthought or a whack-a-mole type of situation.
Asks you to drive the conversation=he doesn’t care about getting to know you, a guy who is truly interested is curious about you and asks questions or steer conversations where you both participate,this one is just like, do all the talking and texting while I’ll reply to you after 12 hours with a barely interested one liner.
There are people with chronic diseases, allergies, who take meds everyday but guess what, they are in relationships, they are wives, husbands, fathers and mothers. This is absolutely no excuse on his part and it’s lame really.
I’m not an advocate of ghosting but I would suggest in this case you cease contact with him immediately and ignore or block him because he has already made it clear he’s not in this relationship and he’s not even trying to hide it. His actions say ‘you need to get off my back!”
You deserve so much better, start cultivating relationships with other guys who are interested in building relationships and want to make you their girlfriends.
Give this zero effort guy the deuces!
Sorry this is happening to you, it’s not easy,been there before and it taught me a lot.June 20, 2021 at 7:31 am #885166
Bleh this forum is messing with posts!June 20, 2021 at 7:34 am #885167
He isn’t pulling away – he’s long gone but just doesn’t want to be straight with you that he’s lost interest. This is unfortunately a classic case of “he’s just not that into you.” He’s being very disrespectful, hoping you’ll get the message and leave him alone so he doesn’t have to do the dirty work. Stop chasing him. I’m with Erin – reclaim your dignity and just go silent and be done with him.June 20, 2021 at 9:52 am #885217
T from NY
If you read this forum enough you’ll see the 2-4 month mark when dating a man is a lot of times when you learn if the guy wants a committed relationship. In the beginning it’s just their biology to try and woo you and win you over. Then when things become more of a routine and the girl starts having natural expectations – the man knows he has to commit or wiggle out of the interactions so they ghost or start to make excuses why they can’t hang out. BELIEVE me when a man is into you – you’ll know. They will want to spend time with you. I’m sorry if you’ve developed a crush on this guy, but he is not interested. Whether it’s you, or that he just doesn’t want a relationship right now, doesn’t matter. I would stop texting, let him fade away. Don’t feel rejected. Sit in your sadness as it will pass eventually. Dating requires taking risks with your emotions, being patient and watching and learning the other person. Try to only allow your heart to become attached to a guy who consistently invests in you – way after the 4 month mark. Because if you want a boyfriend – interacting with tepid men will only bring heartache and frustration. ExpectJune 20, 2021 at 11:22 am #885243
This is like your 3rd post about it. You need to back off if you’re start obsessing about him. It’s not healthy.June 23, 2021 at 7:50 am #886534
Thank you everyone for the replies. This was my first time writing here and therefore ended up writing two different posts as it was a bit confusing.
I haven’t contacted him and haven’t heard from him since three days. It hurts as I didn’t expected such a behavior from him as he seemed quite mature. He started behaving distant soon after the talk. I am trying to process everything, it’s a bit difficult and I feel stupid about the whole situation. After every long break in dating I started seeing him and didn’t expect it go this way so maybe that’s why I am more disappointed.June 23, 2021 at 8:15 am #886544
I feel you darling but guys says all tons of things to create a connection. Maybe he needed it to create the atmosphere that suits him, doesn’t mean he really meant it. Please assess situation before giving all in and invest time and feelings. Take your time, nothing wrong with feeling disappointment. It’s just part of dating. You’ll get used to it as time goes by and won’t lose time again for words, if his actions show he isn’t interested as much as you want to believe his words, it means nothing.