Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Is he playing hard to get?
- This topic has 17 replies and was last updated 4 years, 2 months ago by
Lillian.
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Lillian
Me and my ex recently started communicating after he broke up with me a month ago…he says tbe break up was all my fault..i have apologized and asked him for a other chance to make things right..he told me he needed time to think on it…he texts me gm every morning and sometimes we text thruout the day…but it feels weird…i dont want to bring it up again because i feel i already said how i felt and what i want..i asked why he wouldnt come see me and his response was..”because I can’t just give into you although i want to” what em i suppose to think? Should i just b patient and give him time?
Newbie
There is no way of knowing because it depends on what caused the break up. Was it your fault and what did you do? Or does he have a history of blaiming others or, worse gaslighting you?
Tallspicy
Cut out this malarkey.
‘Bob thank you so much for reaching out every day, but I’ve had a chance to think about it and I think it’s best that we not be in contact. We are broken up and I really need to start healing. I’ve opened up the ability for us to reconcile, and I’m still open to that. Currently, I cannot do this day-to-day contact as is. Should you be open to really making it work and being together again, feel free to reach out. Until then, I truly wish you the best.’
He needs to feel the loss of you and you need some boundaries. It is unlikely you are all to blame for your breakup.
Lillian
He broke up with me because i confronted him about cheating…he swore it didnt happen (i had proof) and said i was assuming snd accusing him…he blocked me told me we were done not to contact him..so i tespected hisvwishes and 9bdays after he broke it off he sent me a message that he missed me but couldnt allow me to continue the BS…and thst there was a lesson to be learned..
I did not respond and 2 weeks later i recv’d another message this time on messenger which he had blocked me also asking me if i was really ignoring him…i replied the day after and said i wasnt ignoring him…he ignored me for a week and then texted me saying he has to fight the urge to be with me because i hurt him so bad and he doesnt deserve to be treated like a child…i said lets try again..he said he needed more time to think and then said he cant just give in altho he wants to…kay
Is this the break up where you had a picture of a girl driving his car?
Lillian
Yes Kay…it is…i blocked him for 3 weeks but never blocked him from messenger because he blocked me and i believed him when he said we were done…so thsts where he contacted me..
LaFrance Thibodeaux
So you found undeniable proof that he’s a cheater, he broke up with you because you put his cheating ways on blast,& refuse to take ownership for his screw up instead he’s blaming you as if you pushed him onto the bed with another woman?..Lillian,This guy is walking all over you..Don’t try to fix what G0D is tearing apart..Let him be!..
Lillian
Yeah altho i kno this its like i always want someone on the outside looking in assuring me im not crazy…
kaye
Did you ever find out who this woman was and how did you get the picture? As I said before how does this prove he was cheating? My husband has loaned cars to our employees and his neighbor on occasion who are females. It certainly didn’t prove cheating!!
So it’s really hard to tell from this if you were insecure and broke up over nothing so he’s trying to decide whether to give you another chance or he was cheating on you, lying about it and making you apologize and beg for him back!!
Lillian
Yes he told me it was his best friends sister..i thought about it and tho my gut was telling me he wasnt being truthful i kinda feel that we should try again…but the fact that he tells me he has to think about it its beena a week and altho hes communicating everyday i feel im in limbo…and i dont want to ask again…
LaFrance Thibodeaux
Go with your gut feeling..Instead of breaking up with you,he could’ve at least put your mind at ease by calling ‘his friends sister’ to clear the issue..& Another thing,Do you know the girl?..
Lillian
Thats what i said he got so defensive and immediately told me we were done and broke it up…he cant put my mind at ease because i feel he was lying…and he doeant feel he has to prove anything i just have to trust him…its just exhausting and right now i feel like ghosting him he told me i don’t deserve him…im just disgusted with the whole thing…
LaFrance Thibodeaux
If that was his reaction then I dont blame you for feeling like he’s lying..Also,I do understand that he feels you should trust him..Now,if that was the first time that you’ve ever caught him in the wrong,then I don’t understand why he wouldn’t want to dead the issue..If this is habitual,as in you consistantly snoop around,& making him feel as though he’s untrustworthy then I understand his move…The whole situation is complex & my nerves are bad..l0l
Lillian
Im so sorry @LaFrance Thibodeaux it is complex because he is so complicated…its the first time this happened im pretty trusting until i get a funny feeling…right now i feel that he is punishing me…teaching me a lesson…and stringing me along he wont tell me if we are going to try again but keeps texting me every morning…which all 3 are hortible and frankly if he doesn’t say something soon ill b gone forever this time i been thinking a lot about it…
Newbie
He is testing you and ‘teaching’ you a lesson. He even said so. If you were wrong about this girl or not doesnt even matter at this point. This is not behaviour you want from a bf. He is treating You like a dog. I would say so long a$$hole
Khadija
Please pull the plug on this guy.
He was caught in compromising position and is now punishing you for calling him out.Not only is he probably a cheater but, he’s manipulative and immature.
If anything this shines a light on your lack of boundaries and self esteem.
Ask yourself why you want someone back who you believe cheated on you?
And why you would allow him to play games with you?We get what we put out to the universe. So if this is the guy that you want a relationship with it says more about you than him.
Vera
A good guy with good intentions would not treat you this way. You should end things for good and not look back.
Lillian
@vera i realized that…hes stringing me along giving me crumbs so when he wants he just shows up..Im too old for this…I love him but i have to love myself more…
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