Is he ghosting me?

Have you contacted him? If you’ve been dating a year I don’t see why you don’t reach out to him?

I’m wondering if there is something more going on since you are talking about breaking up/ghosting. It seems like a big leap to make, to assume he’s ghosting you, unless there are other issues. My bf and I communicate daily, but if I didn’t hear from him for an unusual length of time, I would reach out to him, I would not assume he was ghosting me. That’s why I’m wondering if there is more going on here?

Hi if this is not normal of him, I would try calling him one more time and leaving a message. Or sending a text asking him of he is ok. After a year it would be quite rude for him to just ghost. You know him better than we do what is your gut saying? Do you think he is avoiding you because of your stressful week? Were you leaning on him and complaining that he felt you needed space? It just seems very odd and inconsiderate of him to let you wonder for a week.

OK then that is very strange. I would be worried that something physically had happened to him, like Raven said. If you feel in your gut that he would not ghost (which I would hope not, after a year!), then this is an unsettling situation. Has he been active on social media in the past 5 days?

If he is avoiding you because of your stressful week– that would upset me, as a gf. After a year, a bf should not be avoiding his partner when she is stressed, he should be checking in and offering support. Not smothering her, but certainly he should reply to calls/texts from her at the very least. So I hope he’s not keeping his distance from you just because you were stressed at work. If anything he should be stepping up to support you in whatever way you need.

Yeah he’s been active on social media but not as often. Like every 6-12 hours I think. From that I assume he’s physically ok?

Not sure why tallspicy would say that this isn’t true and I was dramatic.. Story is I recently started a new job and my salary is higher than this other person who’s worked there for 10 years. I overheard him the other day complaining about me, that I was able to take a days off and my boss favours me over him whereas he can’t even get one day off although he’s had many days off (I’ve only had two days off so far, one was a sick day, thought I had covid, and one for the electrician to come to my apartment) and he complains everyday about everything e.g. his pay, his working hours, moan about clients using horrible words and would kick things around and huffing puffing. I never ever said anything and kept my head down and kept quiet. Then last week I was told I had to leave/ move but my boss advised me to stay.

Regardless of work stuff, I’m not sure what’s going on with my bf…

OP- I agree with liz lemon and raven. Go with their words. Ignore TS- how awful to not even give you the benefit of the doubt. Sadly there are still tons of workplaces filled with unconscious bias where women aren’t treated equally.

Good luck, let us know how this goes, and while posting on social media most likely means he’s “fine”- seeing is believing. With how long you’d been together I’d want to see him- having the relationship go poof or virtual only suddenly with no explanation just raises red flags to me. Also seeing him face to face could tell you nothing or it could tell you a lot about the past 5 days.

Show up and ask what’s going on. That’s what I’d do. I usually hate confrontation but if my gut was telling me something was off, I’d want to know what and why.

This whole pandemic situation has made a lot of people act in strange ways. Recently a number of my friends, family members, and coworkers have been feeling totally crappy– feeling depressed, unmotivated, apathetic, bored, frustrated (I have had multiple conversations with different people about this). My bf is an essential worker so his day to day life hasn’t changed much (except for not being able to go out to bars/restaurants)– he is still working as he always did, and we see each other all the time– so he is probably the one person I know who isn’t feeling totally crappy these days, honestly. Everyone else I know is struggling. So I am more inclined to cut folks slack these days when it comes to emotional stuff.

And not to mention, there is a lot of stress and anxiety around the election and politics.

So I really don’t know. You know your bf, and you know in your gut if something is off. It may just be that he is really feeling the weight of things at the current moment. If he lives a distance away and you can’t see each other much, it makes things harder for you as a couple.

But I am not saying that you should excuse inconsiderate behavior, or settle for being treated like an afterthought. It’s really up to you to think about whether his behavior is a deep rooted problem in the relationship, or if he is maybe just suffering the weight of things right now (has he had problems with work? does he have family/friends who are affected by Covid in some way?). He is telling you he is stressed, which means something. Hopefully he can open up and talk to you about this a bit more. But he has to be willing to open up and reach out and meet you halfway.

Its really hard to give advice when its one year of a good relationship and one week off. But it does deserve a talk about where both of you stand. If he totally shuts you out when he is feeling stressed and maybe also having financial issues, is not a good sign for future behaviour when things get rocky and you deserve to know how he views this and give your opinion about it. On the other hand its a few days of not talking being busy. So it can be easily resolved with a promise from both sides to check in every day. I suggest you go try to take this a rational as you can as i feel after a year you either grow closer and slowly become each other body parts sort of speak. Or find out its not a good match. I wouldnt approach this to dramatic as a make or break talk. But state you did made you feel. When you do meet. Take care and to me you dont sound like a drama queen so forget those red flag comments.

So here’s an update.

We had a talk and he opened up to me about feeling stressed and alone sometimes. He doesn’t like his boss and work in general and called it a ‘prison’. He works six days a week and he’s always tired now.

Things were alright for a week but then last weekend and this week, he’s not contacted me at all. I had to contact him and he didn’t reply to my call and the text I sent.

I initiated contact yesterday and we talked but when I asked him what’s up, he just said nothing, and he brought up work being like a ‘prison’.during the call, there were silences as well and it’s making me go a bit worried now. What’s happening? Something feels off and he’s not telling me.

He’s not big on social media, but he does message his friends I’m there and I still check sometimes. I noticed he’s been barely online. He can go 12-24 hours without going on messenger.

Is this it ladies? Is this the moment where it. It quits? I’m really really frustrated…

I don’t give a figs ass that this man finds his work a prison. Any man who did not call me for a week or respond to me? I would assume we are broken up and I would start dating again immediately or be out there.

You are not this mans mother…. a place for him to come and go. You are his partner. His behavior is unacceptable and accept it at your peril. It is not your job to guess what is happening or make it easy for him, you are not a puppy. Screw him. Lose his number and if he calls again make him start from scratch or tell him to F off.

LOL, Tallspicy and I cross-posted. I do agree with some of her points too! You aren’t his mother, that’s what I meant by he needs to meet you halfway. If he’s going through some kind of work crisis, and he shuts you out rather than reaching out to you as a partner– that’s not a good sign. It’s not about mothering him, it’s about being a supportive and encouraging partner. And he is not allowing you to do that.