Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Im 38 and my boss is 52, he is divorced with 3 kids…what should I do
- This topic has 21 replies and was last updated 1 year, 10 months ago by
danica.
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DANICA
I just started a new job, anyway…during the interview he was smirking like crazy, well now that I got the job, he stares at me blankly in my face, or he will come around my desk area and start hollering asking why am I still working and I’m like why are you yelling, and we have 10mins to go, he smirks and says well you can leave ….and waits for me to pack up and walked me 2 the elevator….the other day, we were around a few coworkers and he didn’t speak at all to me but he spoke to them….he didn’t speak to me until the end of the day….., sometimes he’ll come by my desk and just smirk at me and walk away, but doesn’t speak….most friends and fam call me Dani, but at work its Danica as i put on the job application…well he took it upon himself to call me Dani and say you can leave now, just staring at me blankly, stating you’ll get paid for the whole day….he hasn’t given me any work to do, but other employees have, there are plenty young women at the office he can pick on and who have been there for a while vrs my few weeks…now that i’ve been there for a while, he keeps picking on me, flirting etc and i told him you know what you are doing is sexual harrassment, he said yes.and if i want to file charges go ahead, he will just deny it…ive told him to stop and he still wont, he told me twice with a dirty look that i dont tell him no, i will give him what he wants and i will be his…, i also found out he is spreading rumors that im messing around with him and going to his house etc and im not….now i know he sits at lunch with the dumb secretary but he is playing games with her and she thinks he would never hurt me…..what should i do? he’s been there for 10yrs vrs my 5 months…i know no one would believe me if i filed a sexual harrassment complaint…..i dont think i should have to quit my job cuz my boss is in love with me and wants to screw me ..not fair to me at all…what to do? thanks
DANICA
he stares at me constantly, he watches me during the day, i think he has a tracker on my phone, cuz he seems to know where im at without knowing where im at….sometimes he’ll say sexual innuendos like go on with your bad self, and now i can use my hands on you etc….
Raven
BOS, this is an OLD story… Can’t you at least come up with new material?
ANM StaffKeymasterHold-up, Raven! Not BoS in this case. :)
Hello Danica, forum moderator here – I can give a quick explanation about the previous post. Occasionally, we have an individual posting on these forums who tends to be a troublemaker, and she frequently posts the same details over and over. She uses the moniker “BoS”. In this case, Raven, one of our community members, thought that your post seemed familiar, like one of that person’s stories, and that’s why Raven reacted that way.
Anyway, no one needs to worry here. Danica is not “BoS”. :)
That said, Danica, I do recognize your question; I think you posted here sometime in January, and at the time, your post did not garner many responses. I’m sorry! Sometimes that happens. But hopefully this time around, our community members can offer you some advice to help bring clarity to your situation.
Best wishes to you!
Rubi
So this is still happening since January?
Since you have told him you do not like the way he’s behaving towards you then you have to report this to HR. Find a way to get proof, record him or something so you can play it when he denies.
If you don’t want to do that, your only options is to try to apply in another department so you can move away from working under him or seek another job entirely. Stuff like this in the workplace should not be taken lightly especially when someone is well aware they are harrassing you and ready to deny it.
Must be a nightmare to come to work.
Raven
Do’H!
File the harassment complaint!
danica
thanks so much you all, working there has been a pain because he wont leave me alone….im afraid nothing will be done since he has rank at that company….there is a hotline number i can call but they will eventually spill that it was me that filed the complaint and he is already angry with me that he cant have his way with me….its uncomfortable working there due to the threats of if you leave the job, ill make sure you dont find another one and im watching you while smirking……as if he has something up his sleeve for me…he will not let me move to another department because i make his department look good, and if i look for another job, i know i wont get the pay im getting now, im stuck between a rock and a hard place….
Raven
How many other women has he terrorized?
How many will he terrorize in the future?You will always be able to find another job, always…
Rubi
How can someone irrelevant have so much control over your life? All for a job?
You do not know what will happen until you report him so dont speculate and nevermind his rank just get your proof, report him to HR, call the hotline, and go to the police if you feel unsafe. If you really want this guy off your back you have to report him there’s no other way around this. It’s that or quiting and getting far away from him.Danica
thanks for the words of encouragement, i work for a very high ranking company that literally works with every company in the usa and globally, literally….so he could smear my name if wanted too…hes already spreading rumors that im messing with him to his friends in the building and im not….this is hard for me, because i never thought id go through something like this ….i just want to work in peace….i dont think he has done this to anyone else but me…even the dummy at work i dont think he has ever sexually harassed her let alone harassed her i think he just spoke nice to her from day one since shes not used to that, and he knew she was weak and slow from the jump, so he figured oh shell obey him so he played on that, and she fell for it and now she eats lunch with him …im challenging him by not giving into him and i dont take his ish… so that makes he want me a hell of a lot more…and he will not give up….i do have verbal proof on tape when i had asked him you know what you are doing is harassment right, he said yeah and if u want to report it, i like a challenge….i have the date of that incident…but id have to ask security can they pull it….ok, im going to have to get some gumption and call the hotline….boy oh boy this is hard….thank you all so much!!!
Raven
If you are working for a high ranking company, Your HR will be on the ball!
& if you have verbal proof, well there you go- USE. IT.
Danica
welp, i called the hotline and filed a report, that was so hard…..made me nervous and all….they gave me a reference number and that was it…so now i have to wait and see what happens from here…until then i will continue to watch my back…cuz he has something up his sleeve for me with those dirty looks he has been given me…smh, thanks again you all for the encouragement
Danica
i just read a story about a girl who was murdered at her job by an employee who was in love with her and she didnt feel the same way,she told him no, and to leave her alone and she had reported it and the job did nothing, she asked for another schedule and they didnt accommodate her and now that same dude who was stalking her and her job did nothing, has murdered the poor girl and all of this was done at the job all because she said NO…that’s what scares me about what im going through at my job…nothing will be done after the report….now that particular employer will be sued for mills for a murder that could’ve possibly been stopped if they didnt take the girl for granted….sad and scarey…
Raven
Report any ‘revenge’ that you (may) receive…
Raven
Retaliation, was the word I was searching for…
Raven
There has to be an investigation…
Did you share the audio proof you had?
danica
thank you, its being searched for so they say, im new to the building so i dont know if they even can go that far back on a video…..
Rubi
I’m glad you took the steps at least when the jury is out, there will be a report done by you against him showing that you were not encouraging him in anyway. And there’s a possibility that someone else has been in yoir shoes and filed before and that can give you more credibility.
We say this is never going to happen to me but this situation can very well lead to a crime situation. Do not take it lightly. I watch enough Crime & Investigation channel to know that this exist and it has a lot of details that you mentioned on how it started.
You can also download a voice recorder app on your cell and record him talking to you if you feel that the building security will have trouble pulling videos.
lane
I would also file an EOC complaint. When its investigated from the outside it puts the company at a lot of risk, especially if you decide to sue them for a hostile work environment, which a local employment attorney could help you with as well if the situation doesn’t improve. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!!! Keep a journal of the Date, time and what he said and/or did so you can show that its a regular problem you are facing. If there are other employees who heard or witnessed it, write that down too.
It sucks…been through more times than I can count but at least you are working during a time where its taken very seriously v. when I did during the 80’s & 90’s. Good luck.
danica
Thanks so much everyone, i appreciate all the advice! i just pray nothing bad happens…cuz from the way he looks at me lets me know he is out to get me one way or another….
danica
he keeps telling me you will be mine, you dont tell me, you will give me what i want..with this evil look on his face…..smdh
danica
******he keeps telling me i will be his, i dont tell him no, i will give him what he wants….creepy ish….i appreciate you all giving me advice on this…im just worried about ending up like that poor girl from the store ….sad…..
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