I feel like a Loser

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  • #902246 Reply


    I am 36, i have a decent job. I own my own condo in a very expensive Canadian market, something most people my age cannot do, especially without help from family. I did it alone and the vale of my place has gone up quite a bit. Since i bought my place I have lived outside my pay, gone on vacations, dated tried to live life. This has led to me about 16k debt. I was at a job that was bad for me mental
    Health and got a new job, this job started just before I went on a vacation that I had saved for, used points for a free flight but the switch of companies meant no vacation pay and no pay for a few weeks.
    So here I am, in my mid 30’s stressing about this debt.. I got a second job so I can pay it off faster and get a financial cushion so I do not feel this way… i just feel like a loser, i know i suffer from FOMO… i just feel at my age i should be farther ahead. I look at friends who are married, with kids and have great jobs and i just wish i was there…. i just feel like a loser now having to get a second job. I keep telling myself in the long run i will be better off, and who knows what doors could open from here.

    #902275 Reply

    T from NY

    Some of the best reminders I learned from a great counselor are: Feelings are not facts. and Feelings are not final.

    Of course our self worth is not dependent on the misc of whether we are in debt, how fit we are, if we have a partner, if we own a house. Celebrate your accomplishments. Have compassion and take productive steps for the things you need to work on.

    No one can make you love you but you. Take steps each day to do that better. And remember also it’s a JOURNEY not a DESTINATION. Do your best each day. There will be great seasons, there will also be trying ones.

    #902297 Reply


    Hi Sara, You gave Gina some really beautiful advice!

    “Be kind to yourself. Life can be so hard… but as they say… if it wasnt hard, you wouldn’t appreciate the good as much. Stay strong and remember you are not alone”

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