How to relax and not worry

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This topic contains 9 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Oh no she didn’t! 1 month, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #788835 Reply

    Oh no she didn’t!

    And reading these articles can actually make it worse! The more they say not to worry and “Guys get turned off by women who worry too much” the more it makes me worry lol.

    #788839 Reply


    Everybody is turned off by people who worry too much. It shows you do not know how to calm down, be present, make the most of a bad situation. Besides, being worried about a guy _ especially one not your boyfriend is a waste of time.

    #788856 Reply


    Are you talking about worrying about the relationship or everything going on in the world right now in general? Do you suffer from anxiety? Because I can tell you all day things to do to calm yourself and get grounded but if it’s a problem with anxiety then you may need prescription medicine from a professional.

    #788865 Reply


    K is right: If you have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, all the grounding techniques in the world won’t help you to calm you down. You’ll need to go to your doctor (who might not prescribe psychotropic drugs) or a psychiatrist to get a medication (or combination of medicines) that will work for you.

    I tell people that I’m Southern and was raised by a Southern grandmother who had a PhD in worrying – and I’m not sure that I’d even exist if I ever stopped worrying. :)

    Seriously, I’ve always been this way. I found a letter a boyfriend wrote me in 1975 that said, “I wish you’d stop worrying and take care of yourself better” – and THAT was when I was 21!

    Please see a doctor and find out if you would be a good candidate for medication.

    #788878 Reply

    Oh no she didn’t!

    I wrote a response and I can’t see it here. Tried submitting it again and it says I already said that.

    #788881 Reply

    Oh no she didn’t!

    Holy crap in handbag Batman. Is there something wrong with this site?

    #788882 Reply

    Oh no she didn’t!


    *a handbag

    #788877 Reply

    Oh no she didn’t!

    Thanks. Just my relationship. I am actually a very calm person in general. Like seriously I’ve been in disaster situations before (at work and in other aspects of my life) where everyone was freaking out and I was the one stepping up and handling things. I have this ability to stay grounded while s**t hits the fan. I don’t worry that much. But I can get anxious over the occasional situation. Like if it’s very personal. This is the first time I’ve felt any real worry about this guy. Not so much that I can’t focus on other things or enjoy my time with me but I do think about it a bit. I don’t think it’s anything I NEED to worry about ATM and that I should relax because we are still early stages (exclusive but not super serious yet)… but one of those things that if it keeps happening I may have to cut my losses ya know? If this makes sense. I really don’t want to and I really like him but I can’t predict the future. It’s learning how to be ok with that future no matter what.

    But yeah I’ve read some articles here and subscribed to the newsletter and one piece of advice stuck out to me. “Don’t care”. How does one do that? If you are dating someone then do not care about them? Why would you date people you don’t have any sort of feelings for?And therefore care about the possible outcome? Doesn’t mean you won’t accept it and are going to be a total mess but the alternative seems a bit sociopathic. Or am I reading it totally wrong?

    #788898 Reply

    ANM Staff

    Hi OhNo – I saw your reply in the moderation queue and published it. It got trapped in there because of the word s**t – I took care of that!

    (There’s a list of “naughty words” which tends to get us in trouble with google, etc., so our forum software silently pushes posts containing those words over to a moderation queue. Unfortunately it doesn’t tell you when it does that. Hopefully I can make that more transparent someday – but anyway, avoid the “7 dirty words” and you should be fine. :) )

    #788947 Reply

    Oh no she didn’t!

    Aha! I’ll remember language for next time. Thank you!

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