How do I know he's sincere?

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  • #943716 Reply

    How do you know for certain that someone is sincere? How do you know they mean it when they say they miss you?

    Of course, I’m asking this because there is a guy. Late last year, some questionable stuff that I couldn’t prove happened (involving girls), and so I decided to cut him off early because of uncertainty. I had no proof, and he denied/defended everything of course. Note that he wasn’t officially my boyfriend and we weren’t sleeping together…we were just talking, having some romance, and he wanted me.

    I resolved to start the new year without him, so I haven’t contacted him since 1st January. However, yesterday sent me an email, and last month around Valentine’s, he sent me a few emails, which I was strong enough to ignore. Note that I had blocked him on socials, he just found me through email.

    He says he misses me and would be happy to hear from me. Keeping no contact is becoming too hard as I think of what could have been and could be. It’s taking me all my strength to not reply back, and at this point I’m losing my motivation for ghosting him.

    But will I be delusional if I give him just one chance? Just one? How do I know the “I miss you” messages are real? What if we would have had a great relationship if I had given him a chance? Or should I break off the no-contact and tell him we just be friends? I feel so blinded right now and don’t know what to trust, which is why I’m turning to you for help.

    #943730 Reply

    What exactly was he doing with the other girls?

    Has he ask you out on a date?

    #943739 Reply

    He hasn’t asked me out on a date.
    2 girls I didn’t know expressed distrust on him as they had ‘heard’ things…which I won’t go into detail.
    Another girl called me on my phone saying that this guy wanted to sleep with her and I should keep off. He later defended himself by saying that she was his crazy ex who wanted to harm herself if he didn’t let her call me.
    Please advice.

    #943740 Reply

    Interesting about the other girls. They are certainly red flags.

    The most telling, he has not ask you out on a proper date. If he were serious, he’d be wanting to see you & not emailing a bunch of I miss you blah blah BS…

    #943742 Reply

    You know someone is sincere by their ACTIONS not their words. He’s all talk. Sounds to me like your instincts were correct about him the first time.

    FYI, a guy who has “crazy exes” is the real problem.

    You didn’t miss anything, you correctly figured out he wasn’t worth your time. If I were you, I’d stick to that decision instead of fantasizing about what could have been.

    #943782 Reply

    Here’s what I believe is gpod advice. When they are into you, you know it because a guy makes it very obvious to you (dates, consistency) There is NO question in your mind.
    When you can trust them, you feel it.

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