Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › He said "i love you" after the second date
- This topic has 3 replies and was last updated 3 years, 7 months ago by
Maddie.
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Anna
So there was this guy I met three years ago that i thought was really cute, but we kinda stopped talking and recently started back up again. We ended up going on twp dates, and I really like him. On the second date we sat and talked for hours and we really ended up bonding. Today, the day after our second date, he tells me he needs to talk to me about something but that it’s a good thing. After I’m done with work I call him and he flat out tells me that he loves me and that he realized he loved me after our date yesterday, but he decided to sleep on it first before telling me. I didn’t know how to react because it seemed extremely soon, so I told him that i really liked him but it would take awhile until I could say it back. For reference we’re both 20, he’s a junior in college and i’m a sophomore. He seems really sweet and genuine, should I take the fact that he said he loves me as a red flag?
Maddie
You’re in college, and he’s really excited to get to know you and probably overwhelmed with feelings, so he’s calling it love. Your response was perfect, you can like each other but don’t let him rush you! It also sounds like you’re smart enough to know it’s not love yet since you don’t even really know each other (it’s probably limerence), but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have fun and keep getting to know him!
Just take your time because sometimes guys get carried away in the honeymoon period trying to win you over and then can realize after 3 dates or 3 months that they never actually stopped to think about how they reaaaally felt and if they were into you and truly falling in love. So again, don’t let his eagerness either rush you or disarm you, just do your thing at your speed and keep observing if he’s a good guy who both is consistent and respects whatever speed you want to take things (and doesn’t make you uncomfortable). If it actually is a red flag, there will be more to follow soon enough. You sound like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders, so pay attention to what he does but enjoy it all as well!
Andrea
This guy is either trying to fill a void (perhaps because of a recent loss or breakup), or he is trying to run game to get sex and whatever else he can get before disappearing again. Either way, it’s Lovebombing and a big red flag!
Maddie
I’d agree about lovebombing if they were out of college, but 20 year old men (or 20 year old anyone) may not yet know what they’re doing or how to define love. Experiences are brand new. Stay away from experienced lovebombing adults, for sure! That’s a glaring red flag, whether it’s flagging issues with maturity, emotional stability, manipulation, game playing (to get the person into bed), or all of the above. But because they are very young, I stand by my advice in this case to give this a chance and to observe him and how it goes, without rushing. Other red flags will soon pop out if they are indeed there. And OP should bail if it feels like he’s pushing you and won’t let you go at your own speed.
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