This topic contains 9 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Lane 1 month ago.
February 23, 2020 at 6:37 am #786008
So I have a guy that I like. I’ve tried to keep my feelings for him to myself but I guess I’m not very good at it. A bunch of us were hanging out the other day after work- we got some drinks and my best friend was driving us. There was my best friend, myself, and my crush’s brother. We were all waiting for him- my crush- to get in as well.
As we’re sitting in the van, I don’t remember who said what (I must have said something) about my crush and his brother says “Don’t worry. I know you like my brother.” To which I responded, “Please don’t tell him, please don’t say anything. I really don’t want him to find out.” And his brother responds back, “It’s fine. He already figured it out. He knows.”
Then he finally gets in the van and we take off.
So I’m curious why, if he knows I like him, why hasn’t he said anything or ended our friendship? That’s what happens every time I tell a guy I like him- I get rejected. I’m thinking that maybe he values our friendship and maybe doesn’t want to ruin it?
But my best friend and I have had many conversations about this, and she said she’s be “watching him” when we’re around each other and she says she really thinks he likes me- he follows me everywhere, he’s always coming up to me and talking to me, he faces me when talking, he looks me in the eyes, if I go out for a break he comes out with me. Even if he’s not right on my heels, I’ve gotten to a point where I can predict, if I step outside, within 2 minutes he’ll be out. He has broken down and cried in front of, he’s given me some insight into what things are like for him at home (he lives with his dad and brother) and it’s not good, he’s even open about his relationship with his ex and how she absolutely broke his heart. I also do not know how long he has known, but I did ask him the other day if he wanted to go to the movies sometime this week- maybe hang out a little before and have a drink or two- and he responded “Yeah, definitely.”
Now, all this said- I am inclined to think he likes me too- but why would he not make a move if he does like me? He knows I won’t reject him, but he hasn’t said how he feels or anything. He’s not particularly “touchy feely” with me, there’s no physical flirting, but again, my friend claims she seems him flirting all the time.
I really like his guy and want things to work between us, but I also don’t want to scare him off or potentially ruin our friendship. Maybe he’s afraid I’ll just break his heart too? Or maybe he just doesn’t feel the same way? I don’t know. I am so confused. Any help or insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks :)February 23, 2020 at 6:52 am #786009
He doesn’t make a move because he isn’t interested.
Look, I dated a guy who had Asperger’s—even he found a way to ask me out. (We dates for two years.) Don’t go blabbing your feelings to his brother, don’t listen to your friend who’s been “watching him,” and don’t bother this guy. Guys are not that complicated—when they like you, they like you, and they find a way to ask you out.February 23, 2020 at 6:58 am #786010
Even if he’s shy or afraid of having his heart broken again? I didn’t go blabbing my feelings to anybody. We were having a conversation- and I don’t recall who said what to prompt a response from his brother- but he just simply said that he already knew.February 23, 2020 at 8:40 am #786012
••• So I’m curious why, if he knows I like him, why hasn’t he said anything or ended our friendship?•••
I don’t understand your logic here? Why would he end the friendship over this? And saying something would just make things awkward. The only reason he bring it up would be if he was interested in you too and he hasnt done that. I mean maybe he is shy and waiting for the right moment, but i wouldn’t hold my breath.
And i would advise against saying something to him. That could really backfire and jeopardise your friendship.February 23, 2020 at 8:54 am #786014
Yes you did go blabbing. There was no reason for you to mention your feelings; you were just fishing to see where you stood.
And yes, the whole “shyness” or “afraid to get his heart broken again” is b.s. I have never met a guy who made excuses not to ask someone out; they find a way. Stop barking up this tree and leave it alone. You will not get the answer you want.February 23, 2020 at 9:23 am #786017
Its not a good sign, start dating other menFebruary 23, 2020 at 12:26 pm #786025
I agree with Franny. If he were interested he’d ask you out no matter how shy he is. Why would he stop hanging out with you if he likes you as a friend and gets an ego stroke? Why would he start a conversation about you having a crush on him but him not being interested? I wouldn’t relish being either party in that conversation.February 23, 2020 at 3:28 pm #786035
You sound very young and inexperienced with seeing signs a guy is interested. You would profit from reading some of the articles here on the main site. That wil help you navigate dating later on, since having a crush on a guy and looking for clues he likes you too, isnt the way to go. Its true that an interested guy will ask you out. No matter what. And to get a guy interested is not hanging with him, but to be interesting, smart and sexy. But dont worry, practice makes perfect. When it comes to this guy, yes he probably likes you, but at the moment just as a friend. He may not even be available to date atm if he got burned bad. Its not that he needs convincing you are not going to hurt him. That wont work. A person decides on his ownFebruary 24, 2020 at 2:18 am #786069
no to answer your qstn, nope its certainly not a good sign. he knows how u feel, you guys do hang out together with friends. plenty of opportunity for him to ask you out or make a move. he hasn’t cause its really v simple. hes not interested in dating you.February 24, 2020 at 9:04 am #786076
If you start making it too awkward for him he will start distancing and disassociating with you. Its a great ego stroke for him knowing a lady digs him but that’s all it is, an ego stroke but he is not thinking of you in any romantic way, most likely doesn’t even have a thought about you when he’s not around and just living his life like he normally does.
I would stop trying to make any moves with him. Just be cordial and treat him like you do your other friends and eventually this crush with die if you meet a guy who likes you more than just a friend.