He forgot my birthday, again

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  • #942703 Reply

    Hi Everyone,

    The guy I have been with, for over two years has forgotten my birthday, for the second year in a row.
    I am so upset and I really don’t know how to handle this at all. He is busy with work, but I cant believe he forgot it again.
    How do I go about dealing with this please?

    Thank you.

    #942704 Reply

    well what did you expect , he forgot once and you are still with him then he thinks this is acceptable…
    I am not going to lie I don’t remember my bf’s bday but I have it in my calendar to not forget. Your boyfriend isn’t obviously that bothered , especially knowing how much it means to you.

    #942707 Reply
    Liz Lemon

    Why not remind him? “Hey, don’t forget my birthday is next Friday, I’d love it if you took me out to dinner”. Set your man up for success, not failure. Is he otherwise a good, generous boyfriend, and are you generally happy with him? Or are there other issues?

    Now, if you DID remind him, and you DID make plans, and he “forgot”….that speaks to a level of disengagement from the relationship, for sure. I would not be happy about that either. Is that what happened?

    #942708 Reply

    100% what Liz said. Set your man up for success. And take a look at the bigger picture as to what kind of boyfriend he is.

    However, you are also in charge of your own experience. Did you make plans for yourself around the time of your birthday? A coworker told me once that she was so disappointed in her husband’s lack of enthusiasm (and memory) for her birthday last year that she decided she was going to take matters into her own hands. She scheduled a get together with her friends on one night, and her family another day and she ended up having a MUCH nicer time this year. I thought that was really a great idea.

    Don’t become a martyr. You own your day, decide what you want and ask for it.

    #942713 Reply

    My husband stinks at remembering birthdays. Not just mine. So one day, we put his family members’ birthdays in his phone with an annual reminder, and I said I was adding mine there, too. Problem solved.

    Is your bf generally disrespectful to you and not prioritizing you, does he just not have a mind for remembering dates, or are birthdays not important to him and he doesn’t realize they are important to you?

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