Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Good sex?
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 4 years, 3 months ago by
Anon.
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Warasen
My wife and I are in the fifties, been together over 2 decades. Luckily I haven’t had issues with ED yet however they have been times where I couldn’t reach an orgasm, I generally feel like that’s not a good session.
Recently my wife didn’t have an orgasm but told me she felt it was great session. I told her I didn’t think that was possible. That started a discussion but we’ve just left it as we each have our own take on it.
Warasen
I hit the submit button, prematurely! LoL
So what is your opinion? Do you relate the quality of sex with the climax it massive something else?
Better off single
You can always keep trying if an orgasm is what makes a good session.
So she never told you what was so great about it?
For me, intimacy is important. I also have to feel he’s really into it.
Kissing, cuddling, dirty talk, sweet words about how much he loves and cares for me….an orgasm is just an awesome bonus. If I don’t get any of that and on top of it all I don’t get at least 1 orgasm, then the sex sucks and it puts me in a crappy mood.
Liz Lemon
I agree with your wife. I’ve had very hot sex with my boyfriend where one or both of us didn’t orgasm, for whatever reason. But I still enjoyed it very much, and he did too. I do think there’s more to great sex than just the orgasm. It has to do with the intimacy you feel with the person, the connection & the closeness. Sometimes it’s the moment or situation that makes it hot (i.e. sneaking a quickie & trying not to be heard by other people, or trying something new/kinky, etc).
Obviously I (and he) very much prefer it if I/we DO orgasm, it’s best that way, but I do think it’s possible to have fun/hot/good sex without necessarily having an orgasm. I wouldn’t write off a sex session as bad if I didn’t orgasm, necessarily, as long as I was turned on and enjoyed myself and felt closeness with my partner.
Lane
I don’t think it possible to climax every single time because sometimes it just doesn’t want to play and there is nothing you can do about it. If its a one-off kind of thing and doesn’t happen often then I don’t think its anything to worry about but if it starts to become a regular thing then you should go see a doc.
Us women connect differently with sex due to our hormones and able to connect through sex whether we orgasm or not. Of course achieving the orgasm is great but we don’t get overly hung up on it and able to enjoy sex just as much with the man we love whether we have one or not.
Gracelyn
Agree with Lane.
Women don’t always need to achieve “mind blowing orgasms” to feel connected to her partner.
I can’t speak for all women but “massive orgasms” aren’t always the sole purpose. It’s about love and a connection.
Warasen
Wow thanks for the feedback. This is very similar to what my wife said so she’s not trying to soothe my ego.
To be honest we don’t have “mind blowing sex” any more LoL. I’m familiar enough with her that I can tell when she climaxes. She didn’t have one the other day but said she felt great and how she loved it. I didn’t want to break the mood and tell her she doesn’t have to lie for my ego. We discussed it a day later but wanted to hear other women’s thoughts on it.
Anon
I think it depends on the partner. Some partners have amazing sex with an orgasm almost every time if not every time and then other partners not so much. For my guy it’s every time, that is the strongest connection we have- the physical connection and it happens every time and both of us are turned on by the other one every time. Other partners have a stronger intimacy in another area that isn’t physical and have a connection built on emotional and intellectual intimacy rather than physical intimacy.
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