Financial worries, HELP

All couples i know work this out for themselves based on both their incomes with open conversations and plans for a mutual future. The basic idea to split 50/50 is not crazy if you both have decent incomes and a back up plan in case 1 income falls through. So he might be unsure if his income is that solid to base a mortgage on. I cant tell. Or maybe he is a scrooge with his money. There is one thing i can tell you and that has nothing to do with your post. I you have two jobs that are not enough to get your better house on the better environment, youre doing something wrong career wise. Youre 27. I would get a better education and diploma’s. I would really focus on that

He had told you where he stands. He will not change and if this is a problem, you need to end it. Talking about it more is going to suck.the life out of your relationship. He already told you and showed you he will not budge or compromise. You will live like this forever. So choose.

Btw, never live with a boyfriend without a ring if you want marriage. You are young, but living together is not practice marriage. Many people never make the leap.

I’m going to tell you flat out that having this kind of “major issue” is not going to get any better but infinitely worse because it will always be the BIG ELEPHANT standing in your relationship if you proceed with this man.

Never, and I mean NEVER buy something with a man who is not your husband, period! You are making so many ill-conceived legal mistakes here that will cost you a high price because your “love” for him is drowning out all common sense. Stop pushing the house, period. This is a major investment that a woman should only make when the man makes the first major investment first, buys the ring and marries her, because she knows she can count on him to have you back, when you hit a bump, before making any major investments with him.

Step waaay back. Listen to your father because he’s a smart man, who not only understands men but also the legal consequences of making major contractual purchases, such as a house, and is warning you that you will be making a huge major dumb mistake if you proceed with this ill-advised plan. At age 27 you should be wiser, learned some life lessons, at least enough to know that making major investments without any legal recourse, such as Family Court, where your legal rights will be protected and given a lot of weight in the event it goes it goes south with him. Without it, you could be in major legal and financial hot water by being contractually forced to pay the mortgage for a long time should your relationship break under all this financial strain and pressure, that *you* are putting on yourself!

I personally would never ever agree to such a 50/50 deal, because life isn’t wrapped up in a tidy box with a pretty bow. Its HARD, full of bumps, hills, valleys, obstacles and curveballs and if you proceed with this man’s financial plan, you’re going to find out how hard it really is the moment YOU hit a financial bump (lose a job) and he’s not there to support you but only vilify you because you’re not holding up your end of HIS bargain.

A true romantic partnership is where two people come together (get married) and work towards common goals (buying a house, starting a family, retiring, etc.) while supporting each other through good and bad patches. Its not based on a specific financial number or amount but how each contributes to those goals in many different ways, whereas ‘sweat equity’ has just as much value as financial equity because people are PAID to do it every day, such as cook ($12 per hour), cleaning ($10 per hour), take care of kids ($9 per hour), laundry etc. whereas if you tallied up what you do, or would do, when the kids come along; to what people are paid in your local economy, I bet you 10-1 your relationship isn’t close to being financially equal (50/50) as your BF is trying to sell it to you.

Your BF has every right to decide the *type* of partnership he wants, in this case a “financial partnership” but you have the same rights to decide the type of partnership you want too, such as a “supportive partnership”. If this isn’t working for you, then its not going to work long-term, as you will eventually become resentful, miserable and unhappy for *settling* on the type of partnership you don’t really want. All I have to say is sometimes people have to learn the hard way before they *get it*, and if you proceed with his financial partnership plan, I suspect there will be some very hard life lessons coming your way, and not in good way.