Home › Forums › Break Up Advice › Feel so bad how to get through breakup
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Anon.
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Anon
Last week my boyfriend of 4 years was showing me a video on his phone and I noticed a dating icon at the top of his screen he clicked on it when I asked and it said welcome back. He told me that he had never used it and it just appeared there. I showed him my page that it doesn’t just come up on your page unless u go into it and he started twisting it to me saying I talk to men online at work etc and I just walked away from him he knows i have trust issues with him because he’s gone behind my back before and he does that and expects me to be ok with it . He still carried on when we were talking on the phone that I am nasty when i go out with my friend i dress like a tart for men I speak to other guys I’m a tramp and and hung the phone on me again and we didn’t speak for the rest of the weekend.
On the Monday I called him because he hadn’t been in touch and he did admit to going into the app to see what is what about that he was curious because he hadn’t seen it before but he’s not spoken to anyone then told me because I had not called him over the weekend that he had took our pictures down in his living room because we had a deadline if we go over 3 days not speaking we are done.
We argued and he was telling me he hated me im nasty for speaking to men ( which I’ve been telling him for months im not) and hung the phone up on me again and was really texting me abuse swearing and name calling.
Yesterday I called him again and he was ignoring my calls and sending me texts at the same time telling me he’s out and he’s busy and that he’s in control not me and I should see how I like it I was asking him to talk to me and he was just ignoring me this went on all night then he switched off his phone. I had had a drink to so I texted him alot more than I should have and feel silly now but he texted back saying your still trying with a laughing face..I told him how he is treating me he’s hurting me but he didn’t care. I wrote him another message telling him I’m not putting up with his behaviour anymore and I’m cutting all contact I felt I was going crazy I blocked him from everything and deleted his number and today I feel so bad im going to stick to my decision for my own health but its hard I loved him but there’s been constant disrespect and verbal abuse from him when we argue and ive put up with it for to long and him not taking responsibility for his actions I felt this was the only thing left to do but now I feel so broken and hurt just trying to get through the day is going to be tough I feel emotionally drained I just need some advice I don’t have anyone to talk to.
Anna
why did you put up with this? you have to love yourself enough to know that once man starts showing you he is not trustworthy, you move on . He was emotionally and verbally abusing you, please keep his number blocked forever
Tammy
Pls get a grip on urself. Not only was he untrustworthy, but he is also manipulative, abusive, liar! I am not sure why u wld want to be with smone who openly abuses u without any shame.
Karen
He’s been gaslighting you. He’s completely accused you of doing what you caught him doing! I hope you can see that. I just went through the same thing in February and he denied the message I saw was from anything he did. Well, at least $20,000. spent on porn and dating websites, missing condoms, carrying cialis and the other ones that I can’t remember the name, he had a whole kit in his truck. Condoms, lube, toothbrush, shampoo ever! Butt wipes too. Needless to say, he’s out and I’m filing for divorce. You’ve seen as much as I did initially, and after some investigation I found more, mych more than I’ve written here. Get away from him as fast as you can!
Eric CharlesKeymasterIt seems like you’re hurting and feeling bad, I understand.
There doesn’t seem to be a well formed question here, though, so there’s not much I can really do.
Fighting in a relationship is very upsetting. It brings up negative emotions and in that darkness, we feel disoriented. We don’t know what to do, we just want to feel better.
Calming down is the first step. Meditation can work, writing in a journal can help, getting good sleep can help.
From there, if you can get to a place where you have enough presence of mind to ask clear questions, that’s a starting point where the forum can help you.
Hope you feel better and can find that calm, clear place inside. You do have support here available, this forum is a great community.
Anon
I’m very sad about it I’ve had him in my life for 4 years but at the same time for my mental health I have to stick to my decision and try and move on. I have always had attachment issues and found it hard to let go of people that have not treated me right and ive been heart broken but for some reason with this guy I’m not so heartbroken. I feel like somethings missing and I have some sort of feeling for him and I miss his presence but I wouldn’t say I’m heartbroken I’m getting on with things day by day. The last day before I blocked him he treated me very bad and disrespectful thats what’s getting me through this the way he was acting towards me im thinking of that. It was cruel and I cried so much that night and he was textingbme whilst ignoring my calls laughing at me… I havnt cried since. I know if I went back it would happen again I cant put myself through it no more. I told him he was hurting me the way he was carrying on but he didn’t care I dont think he would again I need to put myself first I have a councilling session next week I’m hoping this will get on track to being normal.
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