During a one night stand, the guy didn’t want to have sex with me am I that bad?

Home Forums Dating and Sex Advice During a one night stand, the guy didn’t want to have sex with me am I that bad?

This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Confused-sex 2 weeks ago.

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  • #836726 Reply


    Hi everyone

    Few days ago, I matched with a guy on tinder. It makes 1 year that I didn’t have sex so I was horny. We talked a lot everyday and we sexted. I have never done that before but it was fun. We planned a night to see each other and he promessed me an amazing night.

    When he arrived in my place, we talked a lot about work (were both really intellectual). After, we kissed and we did foreplay. He said “i just want pleasuring you -you deserve it” and he didn’t want me to touch him. He fingered me and he made me a cunni. He then came on my stomach in only 5 minutes.
    He went in the bathroom and dressed up immediately. He didn’t want to have sex. I asked him if he was ok he said “it was so intense, I am going to get mad. I need to calm down. I want to do the things slowly step by step” after he added “it is just that I talk to a girl and maybe we’re gonna date again” (I could feel that he was lying because he was tripping over his words.). He stayed in my flat and we talked for 1-2 hours. He didn’t want to drink.

    When he left my place, he told me to “keep the candoms for a next time”, he sent me a message and said “thanks, let’s have a run tomorrow together after we’ll go in your place”. He said “you’re so exciting”

    The next day I sent him a message to say that I can’t wait to see him. He answered 4 hours after and he said that he is not available and he wishes me all the best. He then deleted me from Instagram.

    I am confused and I feel that maybe I didn’t perform well. However, when I think about it, he didn’t want me to touch him neither and he was controlling. A friend told me that he acted like that because I was bad in bed. I thought that it was the contrary because he was too excited.

    What is your opinion?

    #836729 Reply


    I truly do not believe this has anything to do with you….or that you did anything wrong. I think this guy is extremely strange and creepy. Maybe this is his “fetish” of some sort where he meets women online, gets off and then has no plans on ever meeting you again. Another obvious scenario could be that he has a girlfriend and he may not want to actually have intercourse and just do foreplay. There could be so many scenarios for his behavior but at the end of the day if I was you I would be completely turned off by his weird behavior and move on from this guy.

    #836733 Reply


    Do you care? You invited a total stranger in your sex for sex, without any regard for your safety btw, and it happened. So done. What else did you expect?

    #836734 Reply



    #836753 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    Your friend isn’t much of a friend if they are telling you this is your fault and you’re bad in bed. Who knows why the guy behaved the way he did? He’s a total stranger. You have no idea what his issues are, he could be a total weirdo, have a girlfriend, or have a fetish like Elvira said. Considering that you invited a total stranger home for sex (during a pandemic) you should be grateful nothing more serious happened.

    #836903 Reply


    Thank your for your reply. I would like to know if it happened to some of you.
    Actually, he is not someone who is a full stranger. We did the same studies (same school but not the same grade) and we talked a lot before.

    I still feel really embarrassed.

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