Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Direction After Three Dates
- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 3 years, 9 months ago by
Muse.
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Muse
Hi, All!
For about four months, I have been considering this guy, whom I have now had three dates with. We have been doing what we can during this pandemic.
We ended up meeting for the first time about five weeks ago. I had some enthusiasm while talking on the telephone before we first met and after the first date.
I appreciate that “Jules” is very chivalrous, with a good imagination and values and that he does not really seem at all scared by commitment: a real rare state of mind, compared to so many other guys I have considered and dated.
However, I have recently come to feel a bit of boredom and lack of sparks with Jules; especially after the third date yesterday. So I am really trying to determine what I should do here.
Physically, we have been kissing and making-out since the first date, itself. I have not really felt much sparks there: from then to now.
I also found that he has a body-scent of garlic or sweat, which is off-putting to me. A relative I am close to, of the older generation, mentioned that that is a critical part; that it should not be that I would find his body-scent intolerable. I have come to agree with her.
Yesterday, I decided to open myself up to seeing other guys; which is acceptable as Jules and I have not had any agreement yet on exclusivity or a relationship.
Please advise me on how to proceed. Thank you in advance.
Alice
Really the decision is yours if you want to keep seeing this guy or not.
Sounds like you’re not really attracted to him given you mention his body odor being a problem.
Still the decision is yours.
Newbie
You had 3 dates so whether you dont like his body odour, eye colour, the way he walks etc doesnt matter. Just stop dating him. But just tell him you dont feel chemistry so its better to not continue
Liz Lemon
This isn’t a difficult decision. After 3 dates you feel boredom and there’s no spark. Plus you don’t like the way he smells (your relative is right, if anything when you are attracted to a guy, you love his smell). You shouldn’t continue dating this guy. It’s great that he has good values and his not scared by commitment, but you have no chemistry with him whatsoever. Just let him go so you can both find someone you are compatible with. This is normal, by the way, it happens in dating; we date people to see if they will be a good fit for us. Most of the people we date are not. Once in awhile we find someone who is a good match, but this person is not your match.
Ss
You’ve got the Ick. You don’t like him. Don’t keep him hanging around out of boredom or fear you won’t meet anyone else. You are wasting his time.
mama
The kindest thing you can do is cut ties now, before he develops feelings. If after 3 dates you aren’t feeling it just let it go. Like Ss said, you are wasting HIS time.
Good luck on your search. :)
Muse
Thank you all for the great advice!
I have some good news:
Jules texted me yesterday for the first time since our date last Saturday and stated that he has reconnected with his ex, whom he is having feelings for again. I was so relieved and said that is completely fine and had sensed a disconnect between us lately and had so wanted to call the prospect of us off.
PHEW! PHEW! PHEW! It feels so good to know that I would not cause anybody any pain!
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