Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Did I send something kind of rude
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 2 years, 4 months ago by
Marie.
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T
Hi. So this is completely unrelated to what I posted before a few days ago. But I have a exam or sorts coming up (I won’t go into more detail), and I was texting this guy who we’ve been on a couple of dates with (different guy from before). This guy I’m talking about here, we’ve been texting super consistently, and we normally can take hours to reply. He was asking me questions about the test, like the format/timing, so I replied, and he asked if it was all in one day. And I sent back: “yep it’s all in one day, (exasperated emoji) so many questions”. Do you think that sounded rude by acccidenf? I meant to say there were so many questions as part of the exam, NOT complaining he was asking too many questions (he had not asked like how many questions were on the exam). It’s been silence since for a week. I originally thought I’d been ghosted and had made peace with that, but then I got curious and looked over our last text and just wondered if I had sent something that sounded rude
Liz Lemon
Yeah, to be honest, I can see where he may have construed what you texted as being exasperated with HIM asking so many questions. He may have thought you were annoyed.
This is a good lesson on the pitfalls of texting– its very easy to be misunderstood. That’s why texting shouldn’t be used for deep conversations. (Not saying you were having a deep conversation, just using that as an example).
Lane
Agree with Liz in that it came off as you telling him he was asking too many questions. That’s why texting is one of the top two reasons things don’t get off the ground today when you use the worst form of communication to communicate with.
I often wonder why it has evolved into phone dating v. human dating today? Sooooo glad cell phones and internet wasn’t around when I was young as we met in person, talked in person, and spent time in person. The landline phone was primarily used to set up a day/time to meet and did the talking in person while engaging in an activity, often with others such as going to the beach, party, pizza parlor, club, movies, that kind of stuff. Those were the easier and funner dating days :o)
T
Do you think I should text him something like happy thanksgiving, and maybe explain that I realize my earlier text sounded like something I didn’t mean for it to?
I mean I liked him and was looking forward to eventually meeting up again (it’ll have to wait for a bit and he knew and was keen on staying in touch), but also I won’t sweat too much if he doesn’t buy it. I just don’t wanna seem desperate if he actually was ghosting me out of lack of interest
Maddie
If he immediately withdrew because he thought you were reprimanding him for asking too many questions (especially if it sounded like you were suggesting he back off from distracting you from your studies), then yes. Reach out, say happy Thanksgiving, and be honest with him! You like talking to him and would love to see him again soon, and you may have miscommunicated but you were exasperated with the test questions not with his! If he doesn’t respond timely or well, then you haven’t lost anything that wasn’t going to happen anyway.
Marie
Any updates on this? Did you text him Happy Thanksgiving? If so, we’d love to know how it went.
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