Deconding mister X


This topic contains 2 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Raven 5 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #791138 Reply

    Elsa

    Hi everyone,

    I don’t usually write on forums but this isolation has been tough.
    Long story short. Before the isolation, I have been dating a guy for 2 months. He’s not a person who likes to text and emotionally very closed. Before this, we use to see each other twice a week. Then we got separated and I could finally saw him for a walk only last week (I could not get in because his roommate does not allow people in).
    He does text me but not as frequently as I want and this is a thing that I hate, especially during this quarantine because I don’t know where he stands. I know I want something real. My question is: Should I tell him what I want? I do like to be clear but people say I am too direct and I might scare people off. Should I tell him I don’t like the silences (even thought he’s been like this from day 1?)

    Thanks anyway

    Elsa

    #791141 Reply

    mell

    The title is misleading – there is no decoding to do here. You’re not asking us what he’s thinking.

    Most guys don’t like to text as much as girls do. But they’ll make an effort for a girl they like. Particularly if it’s a lockdown and they have few ways of actually being with her.

    How frequently does he text you? And how frequently do you want it to be? Bear in mind that you’ve only just met – and that texting all day but not meeting would likely muddle things. It can result in a high intensity early on which burns out. People have lives and feel tired sometimes – he may have perfectly reasonable reasons for not texting as often. Or he could not be feeling it as much- it’ hard to tell. The lockdown has made dating much harder for people.

    It’s also unclear where you guys stand romantically – are you a couple? Has that chat happened yet? If not, then it can feel a bit early to expect, for example, daily contact. But every couple is different.

    It would be reasonable for him to tell you what you want out of dating – that you’d appreciate more conversation. But he may not be the kind of guy who enjoys that or can give it to you. You may have to be prepared that he may not change – can you accept if your dating continued like that ? It sounds like you didn’t like it even before lockdown.

    If it’s something you’re prepared to compromise on, then carry on. If you can’t, then you may eventually need to find a man who can communicate as much as you want.

    #791144 Reply

    Raven

    Does he come to see You?

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