Dealing with living with my ex

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Tammy 2 weeks, 2 days ago.

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  • #940202 Reply


    I moved here to be with my bf. We dated years ago but got back in touch a few years ago. We moved in together and things were good as well as challenging, but we worked through things and communicated. I thought finally I had an adult relationship where we both could grow and support each other without much drama.

    Then he told me flat out recently that he didn’t want to live with anyone, and that included me. I had to ask him to confirm if that also meant the end of our relationship.

    It’s been a few days now and his behaviour is EXACTLY the same as when we were together. He still does the same routines, nothing has changed for him. He seems a bit excited I’m moving out but keeps asking how things are going with looking for a place to live and that he’ll help with packing, heavy lifting, stuff like that.

    The shock to me is that I didn’t realise until just now how much he’s never really involved me in his day-to-day life. He said he’s not sure if he’ll want a romantic relationship with me once I’ve moved out but he said he still wants to see me. I told him he needs to get used to not having contact with me (he offered to snuggle at night if I wanted 🤨), that he doesn’t get to have the relationship he wants whilst denying my needs.

    I’m trying to move out as soon as possible but how do I deal with him wanting to keep talking about the relationship and what happens? I don’t think it’s the right time to consider what happens after whilst I still live here :(

    #940203 Reply


    When you move out, make a clean break, but you don’t need to tell him that now. Tell him you are focused on moving out and you’ll have to consider what’s next once you’re out and end the conversation. Just repeat that like a broken record. Asking you to leave like that is obviously the end of the relationship and he’s got major problems if he think you’re going to keep seeing each other or be “friends” after. Don’t let him dictate all the terms. You have to protect you. He’s not thinking of you at all, only himself. The way he’s behaving is downright strange and very disrespectful to you.

    #940210 Reply


    He’s trying to downgrade you to a FWB. Never accept a downgrade.

    #940213 Reply


    I agree with others, he wants to keep you around until he finds your replacement.

    #940215 Reply


    Agree with Angie. U dont hv to tell him anythng now. But once you move out completely, u need to make a clean break. He has ended the relationship with you! Why settle for less? Move out and then move on.

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