Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Coworker expressed his feelings now he’s avoiding me
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 2 years, 10 months ago by
Lyn.
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Kimm
A few days ago my male friend at work admitted he’s been wanting to go a step further than friends but i somewhat shut him down.
So today he said “ i feel like a fool for telling you how i feel i should’ve never spoke on my feelings, i should’ve kept looking & said nothing ”and i asked him why did he feel like that And
he said :
1) we work together
2) your 23 and I’m 33
3) why would you want me 4)you don’t know meAnd i said “ i partially agree” and that’s when he said “see” And he hasn’t spoken to me since
cupcake
What’s your question? I mean you essentially rejected him twice, so I’m not sure what you expect him to do. If i was him i would back off completely too, its hurtful and humiliating to get rejected. What are you unclear about?
Shania Powell
I rejected him the first time because we do work together but we continued to talk. So now he won’t even speak? Where did i reject him a second time
kaye
You rejected him again by saying you partially agreed to what he said. You could have been agreeing to the “why would you want me” part of his conversation which would be a total ego deflater!!
You are young so maybe you didn’t intend it to come off that way. In the future your best reply would have been, “you seem like a really nice guy and no I don’t know you but I have a rule about not dating coworkers”. End of story. You don’t insult him and he doesn’t go off pouting and ignoring you.
Shania Powell
Ahh ok! I didn’t mean it that way. I wasn’t thinking.
cupcake
When you said you “partially agree” did you clarify you meant the co-worker part? If not, its not hard to see how he would have taken it very personally.
Being rejected is always humiliating and hurtful. You don’t want to talk to someone who has rejected you. Its incredibly awkward, weird and painful. Not your fault btw just the way life is. Just accept it the way it is and just leave him be for now.Imana
Duhh….it’s pretty easy to figure out how you rejected him a 2nd time.
You need to give this guy some space to move on. Leave him alone and let him sort through his complex emotions. If it’s attention and ad chit-chat that you’re seeking, you can get that through other coworkers. But give this guy his space. Since you never felt anything at all for him, it shouldn’t hurt/bother you that he’s not talking to you….it especially should not bother you to the point of posting an online query about it. Think about this. Why are u so bothered? He feels like crap, leave him be. People deal with rejection in different ways and it’s not unusual to want space. Respect his wish for space. If u can sense that he wants to be left alone, and clearly you’ve sensed it or you wouldn’t have asked this question, so them leave him alone.
Lyn
Too bad you feel bad that he may feel bad and all that. But you made the right decision. He’ll live. Trust me on this one. Never ever ever and did I say never… date a coworker. It’s an unforced error, a big one, that can cost you that job, and depending on his level of integrity and maturity, or lack thereof, if ur does not work out, can turn your other office relationships toxic too. You don’t want to become the water cooler gossip topic. If you are approached by an admirer at work kindly tell him his attentions are flattering, but you live by a policy not to date coworkers. Your career is too important. Simplify your life. Never. Date. A. Coworker.
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