Broke up on my Birthday..

So my bf and I were trying to work things out after a prior breakup. We’d been back together for about a month and a half. He’s been out of a job since last October. I’ve never judged him on that fact, but I don’t really think he’s trying all that hard to find something. He smokes weed, which is fine by me, but that has cost him jobs and I think he’s got way too much time on his hands. So there’s some background for you.

In the past few weeks, he’s become increasingly aggravated about me not texting enough, calling enough, seeing him enough… the list has been ever growing. He’s even been upset that I can’t do stuff until after 5 (I do work). I’ve tried to be mindful of these things. I mean, we all have specific needs and there’s nothing wrong with that. But I started to feel like it didn’t matter how much I called, texted, made plans, etc… it never seemed to be good enough. He would then use those things against me and punish me by taking away even more time that we could be spending time together. Also, giving me the silent treatment and/or being passive aggressive. When I try to express how it makes me feel, he’s like “Huh?”… shifts the blame or minimizes the situation.

I was flaked on 3 times in a row. (The 3rd time being a day where he just ignored me instead of following through with our plans… plans that he had promised to make happen the week before). We had a big talk after that. I thought we made headway, but he said some things that didn’t give me much confidence in him. He says that he knows he’s not a good person… that he knows he’s not easy to get along with and that he self sabotages himself in relationships.

Fast forward to this week. It was my birthday on Tuesday. He had asked me what I wanted to do the week before. I told him I wanted to get a pedicure and a cupcake from a local bakery. At the time, he was so excited…. promised once again that we could do this. On the day of my birthday, I couldn’t get together till after 5. He was aggravated about that and said to me that he’s broke and can’t afford a pedicure and doesn’t want to fight 5 o’clock traffic… that we should do something simpler than a pedicure. I mean, I get saving $$. I didn’t expect him to pay for mine. I would have been happy with his company alone. But I felt more like I was being punished. (Especially because he dropped $$ to rent a boat for him and his cousins at a natural spring the day before).

It all culminated in that moment and I told him I was done. No apology… just more of the same. He said I guess your gift is being single.

I do miss the good parts, but I can’t forget the days when he made me feel bad. I really am not looking for advice… just a place to share.