Home › Forums › The Community Lounge › Boyfriends insecurity is ruining the relationship
This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Raven 2 months ago.
I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years i have never givening any reason not to trust me ive been loyal the whole time but I work with alot of guys and he’s accusing me all the time. If I don’t answer my phone I’m talking to someone els I can’t even make eye contact with a work colleague in town incase I get accused or he kicks off. A few days ago I called him from my canteen area because it was too call to call him out side but I was talking to him quietly because I didnt want everyone listening to my conversation and it was busy in there. He told me he knew I was around people because i wasn’t talking or talking to quietly he started to go at me down the phone saying it was because I liked someone who was sitting there and im trying to hide him to my work colleagues he got really annoyed and hung the phone up on me. It was quite embarrassing because they must have heard him coming through the phone. I tried calling him back he ignored the phone then started texting me that he isn’t a fool and why call him if I can’t talk told me to f** off and go talk to my mates. We havnt spoken since this happened which was days ago. I dont feel like I should make the call to him and I’m really tired of trying to explain myself when I’m doing nothing wrong. These are his issues when I should be the one with insecurities as he’s the one who was messaging other woman at the beginning of relationship. I dont know what to do its not just this occasion he does it when we are out and ruins my night, if I don’t answer my phone or i say hello to my neighbour I’m getting accused. He even looks at what time I’m online and if its late I’m accused again it’s ruining the relationship
Sandra, this is heavy verbal and emotional abuse. And he’s accusing you of cheating because he’s the one cheating. He isn’t capable of having a healthy relationship and I guarantee he’s involved with other women behind your back or he wouldn’t be acting like this.
It’s long past time for you to end it. Why have you tolerated this for four years?? Please get a counselor or a support group or whatever assistance you need to get out of this before he progresses to physically abusing you. Email or text him and tell him this relationship is over. Mail him his things back, have him mail your things back and do not engage with him any further. He might try to tell you he’s sorry and he loves you and he’ll do better, but DO NOT believe him. You’ve wasted enough of your life on him. You deserve a lot better. Step up and claim it.
End this mess now. You’ve tolerated this for 4 years- why?!
I know and I have no idea I thought he just had insecurities from his past as there was alot of cheating both sides and in time things would change but it never has. We don’t live together and as time has gone on he’s just pushed me away with how he has carried on. I’ve told him how I feel and how he makes me feel with his accusations but he still insists he’s done nothing wrong and said I cant control his point of view.
Is this how you want to live your life, being accused constantly?
AND, He. Is. Not. Going. To. Change.
I know he isn’t going to change and no I can’t be in a relationship like that no more. It even git to the point where I’m looking down ir looking away when I see males I know because if him. Even when I call him and I’m at work and a man comes to talk to me I have to mute the call so he dont hear them to keep the peace.i feel really crap right now because I know I’ve been loyal but I cant keep going on like this him calling me narsty that I’m a flirt chatting to other men when I dont yet he can talk and message who he likes.
I’m happy you’re moving on.
Please take time to reflect why you put up with this for so long & heal…
I’m trying its really hard when you love someone and you have been with them along time. I have insecurities too but I’m not as bad as that. I’ve tried to reassure but he just won’t change and he doesnt see anything in wrong in his actions . He hasn’t spoken to me either so I am gonna try and take time to sort my self out.
@Sandra, You understand what he’s doing is (Emotional) Abuse & Manipulation.
Next comes the physical…