BF Narcissistic or Just Insecure?

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  • #775714 Reply


    I’ve read alot online about the signs of a narcissist and I’m uncertain if my BF falls under that category, or if he is insecure instead.

    The N will love bomb, discard, then possibly return by hovering. Mine certainly showered me with compliments. I felt devalued when he made excuses about being busy or tired.

    He also mentioned being majorly stressed out after doing a bunch of free repairs for a female friend. She apparently wasnt hanging out with him as he had wanted. This was clearly said to discard me in a very cruel manner.

    Then after him disappearing alot, reappearing and months later being around more often. At that point he was consistently giving me intermittent reinforcement. When I wasnt chasing he would appear randomly looking for my sympathy with sob stories about the stress in his life. I wasn’t buying it though and never chased or reached out by text.

    My BF never once outwardly criticized me about friends, how I looked or dressed like I’ve heard in other situations where there is jealousy. In fact he was overly conciliatory, apologetic and even submissive at times. I’m not sure if he lied, I felt at times he may have, but I had no proof.

    Was my guy a Narc or just some guy who is super insecure?

    #775716 Reply


    Does it really matter what …?
    It matters, that this is happened…

    Why are you still overthinking this…

    #775727 Reply


    I understand what you are doing trying to make sense of a guys behaviour. But you are asking the wrong questions. You should focus on yourself and ask why you put up with this kind of treatment. You felt devalued with his lack of interest etc but thats just a word we get spooned with selfhelpbooks and so. Knowing your true value means you dont put up with crappy behaviour.
    In this case i see a guy that was busy but was also not really interested in having you as a real partner. And the whole situation sounds toxic. And that means both of you played a part in it and you can only look at your part to become a better person for the next one.
    Its not clear if he is your bf or ex bf but i hope its an ex and that you will spend your time on you healing and be happy

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