Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Am I over analyzing the situation…?
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Anon.
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Jenny
Hello let me first start by saying I have a tendency to over analyze and be quick to Worry if I said something wrong to a potential date.
I’ve been seeing this guy for over a month, we text everyday and seem to really get a long. He’s really into cars, drives all kinds, goes to the car shows etc. He even helped me pick out my first car just recently.
Today we were texting per usual and he asked me what I was up to. At the moment I was researching mechanic classes so I Could learn more specific stuff about cars and how to fix them. I told him I was looking up mechanic classes then asked if he had mechanic skills of his own. This was my way of maybe asking him to join me in a class in the future. He texted back but completely ignored the question and was very short with me on the text.
I’m getting a little nervous if I offended him in some way. Am I overthinking it here? He usually texts me paragraphs and I know I’ve been home a lot recently to overthink things so I just need a little clarification if it’s all in my head.
Anon
I think you are trying to mold yourself to fit him- did you really want to attend the mechanics class or did you want to try to get him to do something with you? Guys can smell an agenda. Be yourself and do what you want, if he wants to join you- great but don’t change yourself for a guy- EVER
Jenny
Thanks! But I actually had planned on doing the mechanics class for sometime now even before I met him. But since I was going to do it I figured I’d bring it up to him in case he’d like to join. I was looking it up before he asked me what I was doing.
Newbie
You are way overthinking and way overtrying to impress a guy. Just be yourself lol. Take care in covid19 times
Newbie
And all he did was not see your question. Let me explain my guy to you: if i send him 3 texts he only responds to the last one. But Meanwhile he remembers all sorts of crazy stuff i do in the meantime. So him not responding doesnt mean anything
Tallspicy
You have been dating a month, you should not be so invested as to be looking up classes you can take together, even if you wanted to take the class. You should not be an empty vessel that likes everything he likes.
Also if this man is not your boyfriend you need to be giving 0 fs about anything he says or does and anything you say or do.
We can’t answer your question, as we don’t know. But we can tell you that over investment in him and his interests will backfire.
Amelia
I’m like you, an over-analyser. It’s not wrong to analyse things thoroughly as it keeps us prepared for the worst or best outcomes, and I see it as being open-minded to be able to calculate so many possibilities. However, despite all the analysing, I make it a principle to wait until more information about something is available before judging. A guy who chooses not to answer, or answer briefly, can also be trying to save his ego, maybe he wants to appear knowledgeable to impress you and don’t want to show that he lacks mechanic skills or lessons. In the end, I usually just stop analysing when I see that there is no evidence to make a conclusion.
PS Just my two cents, I believe we should enjoy a relationship while we can. If I’m worried that a relationship isn’t going to work out, or if one day it really doesn’t work out, then surely I should just blindly enjoy it while I can without worrying, provided that conversations are straightforward/honest and that concerns are mutually and openly shared.
Anon
Then I would go ahead and do the class like you want to, but would not mention it again. Be yourself and if it’s meant to be it will work out.
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