Abusive relationship!

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  ANM Staff 1 month, 4 weeks ago.

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    I’m going to be talking about something very personal to me because I want to try and understand why I am the way I am. None of you may be able to help, but it doesn’t hurt to try here first before seeking professional help. I have a strong desire to be in an abusive relationship. I love to be dominated and this is not limited to just my sex life. The idea of me doing something that makes a man so mad he lays hands on me, turns me on. To me, that is just him being a strong man. I don’t know why I think like this. I just do. I’m scared I’ll end up in a bad situation because of my desires.



    Believe me when I say you really don’t want to take advice from a bunch or random, unqualified strangers on this. Most people who post on this site seem to be well-intentioned, well-balanced and intelligent, but we are not qualified professionals and we do sometimes get nutters with dangerous advice posting here. Also, it’s human nature to focus on the advice we want to hear, so you are likely to end up selecting the bits and pieces that you like. You need to get help from a qualified professional that you trust, not an internet forum.



    Some people have master/slave relationships in and out of the bedroom. They are fully consenting adults and know exactly what they’re doing and why. It’s always a free choice of both parties. That takes a lot of self-knowledge, presence and trust for each person involved and for each other.

    Before you go engage in that, I agree with Jo you really need to work with a therapist IRL to find out the roots of this desire and if this is really the kind of relationship you could handle before you ruin your life or get yourself seriously injured or even possibly killed. This is not the place to discuss or work through your issue – you need a qualified mental health professional. Hoping that no one says anything here that would be damaging to you. The admin may step in and lock this thread out because further discussion of this issue may violate site rules because you’re discussing actual physical harm.


    ANM Staff

    Yeah, I’m inclined to agree with what our community members have said so far. This is outside the bounds of consensual role-play – this sounds like you may be seeking what amounts to actual physical abuse.

    Our community is pretty diverse and I tolerate a lot of “spirited debate” around here (so long as it doesn’t devolve to personal attacks, and everyone’s been pretty good about that lately!). But I think the discussion on this topic may go unproductive places. Sorry, I’m going to lock this one.

    You have implied that you will seek professional help for this, and I hope you find clarity (and safety) in doing that. Best wishes to you!

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