Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Should I leave his life with a BANG or just let it go?
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kat.
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TexanGirl
I’ve been dating this guy, and I say I’ve been dating because up to this morning we were, for quite some time now. We meet had our ups and down but always found a way back to each other, or so I thought.
Yesterday, I go over to his house to hang out because I wanted to see him, since the last time I saw was last week… (Yes, I know I am lame and stupid… Well, I know that now). We watched two movies, he did some work stuff but we cuddled and he made me feel very welcomed in his house. The problem happened this morning.
We had sex in the morning and cuddled some more but then, it was time for me to go and time for him to go to work. While he was taking a shower, his cell phone alarm came off and while I turned it off I couldn’t control my curiosity and went through his notifications. To my surprise he had texts from three other girls. One read: “How was your day babe?” The other one was “Hey, come over tomorrow. Dinner and a movie. The kids are going to be with the dad.” and the other one read “Hey what are you doing tomorrow?”. I was in shock because while he would tell me he had late nights at work he was probably screwing these girls.
Fast forward, I asked him “In a scale from 1-10, how interested are you in me. I mean, like do you see a possibility?” His reply was “I don’t know. It’s early and you know I don’t like to deal with stuff in the mornings.”
I went straight to the point and asked, “Are you talking to other people?” His reply was “Yeah, but not romantically. I mostly like you and I meet them before I met you.” I almost fainted. He lied to my face.
I decided to let it go because I was running late for an appointment but know I have this feeling that I should text him something saying… “I hope you have lots of fun with Morgan, Ally, Amanda or whoever’s turn is it tonight. I’m out.”
Should I do something like that or just stop talking to him or WHAT?diane
I would just vanish….No need to take yourself as low as him….
Eric CharlesKeymasterWhen has retaliating from a negative place ever lead to good things?
I can understand the pain, but letting it go is best. Good luck.
TexanGirl
And what if I let go and he keeps coming back… He texted me today asking what I was doing… I told him I was busy and I had plans for the night and he hasn’t make anymore contact, but knowing him he will come back… That’s why I want him to know that I know about his games and I won’t be part of it anymore.
diane
I was curious how can you not see any sign earlier? did he really cover everything up so good?
TexanGirl
I think I was too wrapped up to notice… He knows how to play the game. That’s why I want him to know that I found out about it and he can continue with it but not with me. He hurt me and I want him to know that. I know retaliating leads to more pain but I rather tell him how I feel and maybe ease the emotional bleeding…
Diane
It is up to you… I would take the high road…
Stefanie
Ignore him until he goes away, Tex. Complete silence will say more than any words ever could. Be grateful you caught on to him early.
Stefanie
What Eric said is absolutely correct. A snarky comment to him is just joining him at his level and does you no good.
LAgirl
How long have you been on and off?
TexanGirl
When I said ups and downs I meant misunderstandings… We’ve never broken up things… And we were dating for enough time to make me feel this way…
LAgirl
How much time?
TexanGirl
Almost 5 months… I know it’s not much… But it feels like I invested almost half a year for something that was not worth it…
Sarah
Don’t let him know about the other girls.
Just say “hey look, done some serious thinking and I’m just not that into you anymore. Sorry it was fun, but we are not compatabile. Good luck!”
Your dumping him. And he has no idea why. Let him dwell on it for a bit. His ego needs crushing from a good woman. ;)
TexanGirl
Thanks Sarah… I’ll think about your idea… Seems Iike the best way to go…
yams
Yknow I would say that given the way he’s playing so many of you at once, he doesn’t feel bad about it. So if you tell him you know and leave… unless he was truly in love with you ( in which case he wouldn’t be doing this to begin with) it won’t even hurt him much.
What would hurt him is striking his ego. A man’s ego is as fragile as a woman’s heart. Go for what Sarah said. Pull the “i’m just not that into you” line on him.
John
The Fact that you had the idea to look through his phone tell’s you right away that possibly before then you didn’t trust him at all. ” there is that saying you find what your looking for”, unfortunately he wasn’t able to be one hundred percent honest with you, i would leave and give myself some time.
TexanGirl
John, I don’t trust because I’ve cheated before… And now, every time I meet someone it takes me forever to develop trust or I just never develop it.
TexanGirl
I’ve been cheated… That’s what I meant…
Diane
Wow, love that “I am not into you” line…. The best…
TexanGirl
I’m going to just let it go… Ignoring him will tell him I’m done with his game
AP
Let it go! Silence is the best reply to a fool.
Stefanie
Right on. Giving it energy with a message doesn’t get you anywhere but into a game of verbal volleyball with him that can’t be won. Ghosting him says it all.
TexanGirl
Haven’t heard from him since yesterday afternoon… And the only reason he texted was to asked why I did Saturday night… I’m so done…
Space_Cadet
Hi TexanGirl,
It is it possible that there is nothing untoward about those messages?
Looking at them, if they are word for word, they could all be innocent.
I sent SMSs similar to those to my friends. I’ll even throw in a “cutie” here or a “sexy” there (granted sexy is usually only for my gay friends)
I have sent or received almost identical SMSs from male friends that ate platonic and neither of us have any romantic aspirations.Just take a deep breath and think about those texts again. If you still have a bad feeling about them, then go with you gut.
Just be straight forward. Please don’t do some passive aggressive nonsense.
Tell him whatever.
Just let him know that you don’t want to see or hear from him anymore.
You can tell him the real why if you’re feeling kind.NB:”I’m just not feeling it anymore” is still the truth.
If he’s cheating, he’s not that great at hiding it. Let him get caught by his next.Just remember, too many people treat others the way they’ve been treated.
More of us really need to make an effort to treat others the way we want to be treated. -
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