Lads holiday, yes or no?

There is either trust or not. If you don’t trust him, then you should dump him. Period.

Yes, he should be able to go on vacation with his friends.

Yes. He can cheat on you in a place where there is snow, work and coffee. Safety is a myth.

This is your issue. I understand that issue, but if you really believed you were the best out there you would know he will still come back to you. Men hate to be shackled and plenty of men stateside head to vegas….

Hi.

Do you trust him? Whether he’s at home or somewhere else if a man’s going to cheat it doesn’t matter “where” he is.

My ex traveled a lot (in the military) and took side trips and guy holidays over the 20 years we were married and he never cheated on me because we made a pact in the early stages of our courtship that we would be monogamous and neither of us deviated from that promise. The guy I’m seeing (for over 16 months now) takes trips and I never once even thought about it because he’s never once given me a reason to think otherwise. We too made are in agreement that we’re sexually exclusive with each other and if that changed then that would be the end of us…don’t need to be catching any STDs! :-P

You can’t prohibit them from doing things like this just because your insecure—that’s YOUR ISSUE, not his, if HE (not past BF’s) hasn’t given you any reason whatsoever to doubt or trust him to be faithful.

If you make an issue about this, you will not win. If you want to make rules, then fine, but I promise you, you will look like a shrew. Are his friends single?

Stop listening to female friends. I am sorry, but it usually does not help.

It would be crazier if a group of guys decide to hang out in Florence or something and sniff up some culture lol

Boy’s Weekends, as we call them in my neck of the woods are healthy, just like Girls’ Weekends are. A person can cheat anytime they want. Period. As the above commenters are saying.

You need to figure out where these emotions you are feeling are coming from, why you are not trusting.

As a side comment, not meaning to hijack this thread, but if it turned out he did have random sex with someone while there, assuming it was safe sex, that is far less damaging than emotional intimacy with someone else, IN MY OPINION. People always have different opinions on this though, its fascinating to me, the whole subject of infidelity.

Anyway…..I hope your guy goes and has a blast, and I hope you work through your stuff and enjoy your own “me time” while he is away.

Hugs

Stop listening to other people and go with your gut. He sounds like an honest and trustworthy guy based on what you’ve said, so I would be hard pressed to create issues (aka DRAMA) when there’s absolutely no need to do so.

Just give him a good lay before he goes, a big passionate kiss and hug before he leaves, and then let him go have some guy fun and create some girl fun while he’s gone :-)

However my problem now is I’ve acted needy and insecure…how can I repair that ??

Firstly, that if he gets a girl as roommate I don’t think I’d want to continue with the relationship
Then asked if he and I would go on holidays, he said ” sure, let’s visit your home country again”
I said, “are you sure? Cause I don’t want that we say thing and then not do them”
Then mentioned whether if he still thought we’d still be together by April…
Seriously what the heck went into my brain…it’s like I has a panic attack and allowed all my insecurity of all of a sudden explode into million pieces!!! I feel pretty ridiculous -_-

Tina this is interesting as I think it’s a real UK issue, that men want to hold on to this “LADS LADS LADS” thing until it has to be prized out of their cold dead fingers (at the age of 40 when there is no one left to be a LAD with!)… I get why it bothers you. I really do.

However, two perspectives for you.

First of all I have a brother. He’s been with his wife (who is beautiful and lovely) for 15 years. In that time he has regularly had lads trips away, stags included. Yes, what happens on tour stays on tour, BUT because his wife doesn’t make an issue of it, and lets him go off and let off steam, it has never had an impact on them and I don’t believe he would have ever cheated on her. Yes he might go to the strip clubs or whatever, but he tells her, and me, and it’s all in the open and we all laugh at the stories because in the end it’s no more than silly, drunken fun (IMO).

My best friend is a different story. Again she’s been with her husband for 15 years. But she won’t allow him to go on most of the lads nights or stags, when he’s away she blows up his phone, when he gets back she interrogates him and goes in moods with him. She once made him sleep on the sofa for a week because he came home with a bruise on his bum (from falling over, he said). Thing is my brother told me that when this guy DOES get the chance to let loose he goes crazy and goes with prostitutes and gets right involved with the worst behaviour.

Boys will be boys. That is a fact. You either accept that and TRUST your man to respect you, and give him the FREEDOM to be himself in life. OR you shackle him down and nag him and whine at him and question him and try to control him… and inevitably his respect for you will be lower and his boundaries looser.

Don’t be the “her at home” that in a man’s mind gives him a licence to cheat because you’re such a harridan. Because he will have all his mates back up if they think you’re a pain in the ass! If his mates know you’re cool and relaxed and you trust him they will be more likely to disapprove if he does cross the line!

Sasperilla you know that your BEST friend’S husband sleeps with prostitutes and you haven’t told her?? I hope the poor woman doesn’t get Aids.