he's left me heartbroken

I know this sucks but he did “like you” he just didn’t *love you* in the way a man needs to love a woman in order to take it the level you wanted it to go. These situations rarely ever work or pan out, where the odds are 1 out of 10 it will go further and develop into a meaningful commitment.

This is a life lesson that you learned the hard way and now know you cannot engage in these unrequited love (non relationship) situations unless you don’t truly have feelings for the man and honestly like them only as “a friend” no differently than you do with non-platonic male friends but enjoy a little no-strings fun time on occasion.

Men view these the opposite of how a lady does. They are genetically designed differently so they don’t get the hormonal attachment because they don’t produce the level of hormone’s ladies do, such as oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine, etc. which are the same one’s that attach/bond a woman to her newborn child…it is very powerful stuff! Men’s levels are not only lower but dissipate by the time they ejaculate and actually have more of a compelling need “to get away” so to bring their hormone levels back to normal which is why they don’t attach through sex.

Men attach [fall in love] with a woman’s personality and the energy she exudes. She has, what I refer to, as the *IT Factor* that is tangible (physical) but also intangible which can be anything but its the thing, or things, that she does or says that makes him want to be around her, and is naturally drawn to her like a moth is to a flame. You simply don’t possess or have the intangible thing(s) that he needs in order to fall in love with a woman. Its nothing personal, nor is there anything wrong with you, its just how nature works.

Just know there are men who will fall in love with you because you have what they are looking for, and if they have what you are looking for, only then do you have a really good chance of going the distance. Its going to hurt for a bit but humans are resilient—like they say “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” You will get stronger and now know you need to avoid these types of situations going forward. :o)

Since so many women are offering sexual arrangements these days, there’s very little incentive for men to commit.

Just to add on to the already great comment. In the future never do the clarification talk through text. Do it in person so you can get a good read on the body language and tone. Hugs.