Home › Forums › Decoding His Signals / How Does He Feel About Me? › FWB showing he cares but ignored my text
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 5 years, 12 months ago by
Emma.
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Jenny
Many things happened between my fwb and I that made me believe he may have feelings for me (more emotionally attentive during sex, he texted me a few times just to chat, told me he loved me when he was drunk etc). A couple of days ago I decided to text him and see how he was. I’ve known him for 2 years and this was the first time I texted him just to chit chat. For me this was a pretty big deal because I’m super shy and although I didn’t have any ulterior motives I wasn’t sure how he’d take it.
Conversation was flowing and he was replying very quickly until I revealed that I had some time in my hands and that’s why I decided to text him (I didn’t want to sext or have any serious ‘talks’ or anything like that). Although after I said that he was taking more time to respond his texts were still as enthusiastic. At a point I felt that conversation was dying and the only way not to sound rude was to close it off with a suggestion of a new netflix series I recommended he watched, as it was related to an older convo we had. Having said that, he not only replied (he could just leave it there and end it), but continued the conversation with a question. I replied and he hasn’t even opened the message yet (it’s been 2 days).
What drives me insane is the fact that he could’ve ended the conversation at any point or could reply in ways that showed he wasn’t interested. I find his behaviour insensible and I can’t find a logical pattern behind it. Besides, I don’t see the point in not opening my message yet- he could open it and blank me – that would give a much clearer message.
To link everything back together, considering everything that has happened between us I thought he’d like me texting him, since we’ve seem to be closer lately. Instead he ignored me making me feel like I’m chasing him. Any thoughts?redcurleysue
FWB has a certain contract. No expectations. You are slanting some things to make this more. I would find a real BF and forget FWB.
Shawnie
I’ve found most guys hate texting. Girls seem to crave it. Maybe he was just done with the convo try texting him again..or not. But I don’t see the problem here. Sounds like your over thinking the texts.
kaye
He asked a question and you answered. I’m guessing the reason he never opened your text is because it came through while he was texting someone else and he was able to read it without having to open it. Happens to me all the time. I get busy doing something or texting someone and I don’t get back to the person. You answered his question so I’m guessing it didn’t even really need a response. There is no logical pattern to texting. Sometimes people reply right away and other times not for hours, days or ever. You have no idea what someone is doing when you text. If I’m driving and see a text come through I may read it but never respond to it by the time I get to my destination. It’s not some hidden message if I forget to get back to a friend.
You say you “didn’t have any ulterior motives” for texting him out of the blue but me thinks you did!! In 2 years you say this is the first time you’ve ever texted him just to chit chat and the reason is because his actions lately have made you believer he may have feelings for you and you wanted to see how he’d react. So don’t try to play this off as not having some ulterior motive. He probably understands that too. Here out of the blue you text him when you never do that? Do you think he’s wondering if you have started having feelings for him now? A text conversation has to end at some time. Your conversation ended. End of story and stop trying to figure out his feelings from you based on some stupid text messages!!! When a man is into you it’s so clear you don’t have to look for it and search for it in every little thing… it hits you right smack in the face!!
Flower
He couldn’t care less, you are an fwb, not a gf..
Emily
Don’t read into his actions. If he wanted to be your boyfriend, he would be.
Khadija
You’re thinking way too much into his actions.
Men are very clear if he wanted more he would say so.
Honestly, when you begin to overthink an FWB it may be time to move on.
Emma
Just how frustrating it must have been for you to be so afraid to initiate contact with your FWB…!!
Forget why he did not reply, ask yourself why are you in this bizarre setting in the first place?
FWB is NOT dog mating!! You deserve better, much better.
One thing insecure women do is that they AFRAID to confront their guy. They feel offended by they do not voice their concern. This is something every woman should learn how to do if she wants to be respected by men (and women too).
Next time you talk to him in person, not via text, casually ask him, did you see my reply the other time? You asked me a question and then vanished.
Do not make assumptions or accusations, simply ASK if he saw your reply to HIS question.
Just the mere fact of asking is already setting a certain boundary.
I learned how to do with everyone, at work, with friends, with love interests.
If you ask once, you briefly talk about it, and it happens AGAIN, then you simply pull away.
Pulling away does not mean wait for 15 minutes before replying. It means wait until they contact you AGAIN. Let them initiate contact twice.
Recently I had a situation like that with a female friend, it took a few comms exchanges but it WORKED. Now she is treating me with respect and politeness that was supposed to be there in the first place.
It is a technique everyone can and should learn, but especially insecure women.
Why I call you insecure? Please do not be offended. I call you this because I know that a secure woman with a good self esteem would not be in a FWB situation for that long, especially where she is afraid to contact her guy. You can be shy but secure. Secure means appreciation of your self worth. Shyness is a different thing.
Stop all this, make a decision and stop. Either move on to a normal relationship with him by telling him you are not interested in this arrangement anymore. Also ask if he wants to change it to something more meaningful. If he says no, then you need to tell him you are ending it and ask him not to contact you anymore. You can give him some time to think. Set a date, because he is likely to pretend there was no any conversation in the first place He is used to you being easily available, 2 years is a very long time. You deserve a normal relationship. Good luck!
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