Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Too good to be true?
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 2 years, 10 months ago by
Rox.
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Dan
Hi, need some input from females prospective.
Me and my gf have been together for 1.5 years. We’re in a semi LDR of 2 hour away ) so not too bad. Anyway, just a bit of background, I never went to college or anything, don’t have a degree, left school when I was young. And had a few gf in the past with similar kind of education, not very hard working or driven girls. But then last year I met my current gf and I honestly thought I won the lottery. She’s studying to become a doctor and she’s working as a trainee doctor in a hospital at the moment and in a few months time she’ll become a qualified doctor. She’s studying like crazy and I truly admire her for it.
Sometimes I’m scared of losing her. Her family dislike me hence I don’t communicate with them at all. I’m so comfortable with her and she even helped me financially with half the payment for a car. She said interest rate isn’t worth it and to just pay her back whenever.
I love her so much, and even if we argue, she’ll either call me back in a few hours that same day or I’ll phone her. No games or ignoring each other.
I guess my question is, how do I hold on to her? I’m scared of losing her? How can I manage my emotions?
Lane
The only way to keep a woman like that is to be “a good man.” What is a good man? Its a man who does what he say he’ll do, always; one who does small things such as making her favorite meal after a long hard day; a man who provides; a man who stands by her when she’s at her weakest moments; a man she knows she can trust; is faithful, honest, kind, giving, and treats her like a queen!
That’s my man, I love the hell out of him for everything he does, so I’m going nowhere :o)
Erin
As Lane said, be a good guy to her and treat her well.
There’s more to life than academic qualifications and the academic route is not for everyone honestly.
Just be there for her, respect her, support her, live up to your promises, be kind and compassionate, not just to her but others around you too.
Most of all just be yourself, she’s already chosen you and invested in you, meaning she deeply cares for you so don’t take that for granted.
Beth
I am in a similar situation. I am educated and he is not. I don’t care a bit about that. He is a hard worker, more motivated than many men with a degree. Our backgrounds are definitely different. We click! What I care about is how he treats me. He respects me. He is a kind and caring man. A considerate a passionate lover. He is one of the nicest,
Kindest men I know. I love him with my whole being.
I don’t care what his educational background is, or that we have walked different paths in life to this point. We are a little older, and honestly it just doesn’t matter at the end of the day. I the person he is fully. I want him in my life. I know who wonders what I want for a guy “like him”. I have told him I love him for who he is today. Fully anc completelyLiz Lemon
Like Erin said, there’s more to life than academic qualifications. She obviously appreciates you and loves you for who you are. I’m sure you bring a lot to the table or she would not be with you. My bf dropped out of college (he works in the trades) and I have a graduate degree. He’s one of the smartest people I’ve met, genuinely curious about the world, funny, and interesting. He’s my best friend, makes me laugh constantly, and I enjoy his company so much. These qualities have nothing to do with getting a piece of paper from a university. Sure, some people are snobs about that, but your girlfriend obviously isn’t.
I totally agree with Erin and Lane. Just be yourself, as she’s already chosen you; be there for her, respect her, be kind and treat her well.
I do have one comment- you didn’t mention what you do for a living– I assume you have a job? I only ask because you mentioned she helped you with a car payment. Women deeply respect a man who works hard, no matter what it is he does. That will matter more to her than having a degree. So as long as you have some type of career you can pursue, I’m sure the difference in your education levels won’t matter. But if you ask her for money regularly, it will definitely damage your relationship (I’ve been there, done that)– so make sure you are financially stable and independent.
Maddie
Have you ever asked her what she values in a partner? As already said above, not everyone prioritizes the “Hollywood” approach of conventionally attractive, rich, conventionally successful. In fact, I’ve dated guys like that and it went no where because they didn’t have time for me and didn’t treat me very well or with enough respect. Blech. So don’t let your insecurities get the better of you! I’d recommend working on your self-esteem outside of the relationship, which will help you deal with both these fearful thoughts and with stress better, which will then aid you in showing up as a great partner.
The other issue you want to avoid is putting her on a pedestal. You are both people and both deserve respect and to treat each other equally well. Creating dynamics of a power imbalance is not the best for a healthy and enduring relationship.
Dan
I work full time in various outdoor construction sites on the road and I’m paying her back every cent 100%
Ok, thanks everyone I really appreciate your input!
Rox
Hi Dan,
I think what you are talking about is more than just schooling and academics. People talk of sexual and emotional attraction but you are attracted to her intellectually: her drive and ambitions.
I would definitely do something about it, especially if you are looking longterm with her. It’s more about the pursuit of bettering yourself for employment or being more stable. I think her family would show respect for that as well.
In construction, there are many courses/tickets that help increase your job skill and are accredited and can be taken on the weekend or part-time.
Just my 2 cents. -
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