Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Sweetest guy ever liked me, I hastily said "no" but now I want him. Help?
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Newbie.
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Addison
Hey – I met a new coworker (single) – he was so sweet and obviously into me. I just initially didn’t think we were compatible so rejected his wandering/lingering questions (“do you have a boyfriend?” “you’re so pretty” “i’ll always be down to talk whenever let me know if you ever want to talk”) with just politely changing to subject and things like that to let him know i’m not interested. i never spent time with him/engaged with him if i could just to not lead him on.
something changed for me a few weeks ago – i can’t explain it, but i just really like him now. he’s intelligent, beautiful, super sweet, VERY introverted/shy. he still smiles a ton around me and offers to help whenever he can.
how the heck do i let him know he has a chance again?i can’t really think straight on this anymore, i know i’m acting like an idiot. i think of him constantly now and want to see him every chance i get. i don’t want to come on too strong, i’m also afraid of rejection. i feel like such an idiot most of all. help please?
hugs,
addison
Raven
Do not date guys you work with…
Addison
Raven- interesting! Do tell more/why you say that.
I gotta face this guy tomorrow…
Addison
Also thanks so much for responding, I need all the help I can get. I wish I knew why I liked him so much.
Addison
Would it be too forward for me to just talk to him? Any shy guys or gals please feel free to chime in. It would help me in addition to others reading this. thanks.
Monique
He is not that shy if he dares to say you are pretty when he just started working there is he? :p Anyway, it can’t hurt to talk to him…
Newbie
Ill sound like a deputy downer but i find none of what he said evidence he is so into you. Attracted yes, but seeing he is malong these statement in a work context, inappropriate honestly. And none of it was followed by any real action like asking you out. So i only see some flirting on the workplace. But if you dont believe me, ask him if he has a gf. Thats a clear sign you are showing some interest. And leave it at that.
Im not against dating coworkers since its a place where you can naturally find guys who ask you out, in stead of going trough the online dating Merry go round. But you have to make sure that if it doesnt pan out, you can still do our job as beforeBeth
At first thought Newbie’s comment was a tad harsh, but now I feel like i have to semi-agree in that – in general, you shouldn’t have to chase a guy. like, happily receive, but don’t give – let him give. so i honestly wouldnt even ask if he has a gf – that seems kind of “desperate” to me? definitely going to agree with the previous comments (thanks monique, was gonna say). but i don’t think anything he said was inappropriate.
so OP, i’d say do what you should do with any other guy you’re interested – be friendly for sure, but DON’T force it. most of all just go live your life, don’t get hung up on ONE guy. if hes interested he WILL let you know. best of luck (also i’m kinda wondering what happened tbh)
Newbie
I was merely giving a more realistic view on how guys operate so you dont make the mistake early on in assuming he is so obviously into me.
First i do think a guy saying you are pretty in a professional context where you both doing your work, well not professional. Secondly guys cast a wide net in atttracting girls with flattery. It doesnt mean They are into them. They only look for a sign that the girls likes to be wooed more. Thats how guys in general are wired. Now based on a few compliment addison feels he is the sweetest guy in the world. Thats in fact a mindset that gets you hurt easily believing too soon a guy is falling for you. I and others have stated this numerous times on here: just google the 7 steps a guy falls in love. Knowing that is a very good receipe against early expectations. -
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