Sudden shift in him lately?


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  • #791204 Reply
    brooke

    I’ve been seeing a guy since December. We knew each other from college and reconnected by chance. We’re both going through divorce/separation, we bonded over that and it turned into more. There was an attraction years ago and it hadn’t gone away. The beginning was super passionate, constantly texting, great convos, couldn’t get enough of each other. He was the one pushing to be an “us,” said he messed up years ago and hoped he could make up for it now. We also were both changing jobs and moving to a new city. Everything was going great, obviously Covid19 hit and mixed things up, we both ended up back in our hometowns at our parents homes, which are still close to each other. Despite that we still found ways to see each other. About a month ago I started to notice a little switch in him, less enthusiasm, our texting changed, when we’d see each other he wouldn’t be hands on where he used to not be able to keep his hands off me. I did finally say I noticed he was off, he attributed it to the weird time we’re living in. We’ve always been super honest with each other so I let it go at that. But I’m still getting the same vibe, possibly worse since our sex life has also changed. I can’t help but take it personally, I don’t know what happened to cause this shift. I know I need to come right out and ask him, but I fear the answer now that I have real feelings for him. Just wanted an outsiders take on what might be happening.

    #791209 Reply
    Newbie

    Its very likely you are a rebound to him (him being a rebound to you is also likely). Guys mourn different than women. They want to seal away the pain so they start to date and all full in at first. But at some point they still need to process the break up and thats the moment a lot realize they are not all in with the new found love. So i think its that. Women mourn a bit different, they let it all out and then heal.
    You can let him go gently. Its not personal. Its just not meant to be.

    #791220 Reply
    brooke

    We could be each other’s rebound, but there was an actual connection there, that part I am sure of. Does that rule out potential for it ever working in the future, post healing?

    #791221 Reply
    Newbie

    A lot is possible but im basing my response on his recent behaviour and go with that. He must be utterly smitten to get over his past relationship and i dont see that happening.
    I wouldnt wait for him but you can still see if he wants to date again and then ask how he sees the two of you.
    Google 7 stages a guy falls in love. That might give you some clearity

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