Space after a fight


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This topic contains 4 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  A 1 month, 4 weeks ago.

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  • #827191 Reply

    Hopeful

    Me and my boyfriend of 10 months got into a drunken fight on the weekend over a miscommunication. He is someone who needs his time and is very considered. In the fight I acted very immaturely and said hurtful things and was a hysterical drama mess. We do not fight often and have a very close relationship. I went over the next day to apologise but he did not speak to me much although I thought he was thawing. I had not heard from him since so I reached out mid-week and he told me that he was not ready to talk and wanted to talk on the weekend.
    The silence and not knowing where his mind is at is killing me. As this is the first time he has been hurt by me I am wondering whether this is more serious (i.e. breakup) or its just a fight.
    Wondering if anyone else has SO that need space after a fight/is hurt, need reassurance that we will kiss and make up!

    #827193 Reply

    Raven

    Drunken & hurtful, not a good combo…
    How hurtful?

    I can’t give you the resolution you desire.
    What are your ages?

    #827210 Reply

    Tallspicy

    We need way more details about the fight and what exactly happened. But, you do need a partner who is capable of communicating through challenges and forgiveness. That is what a real relationship is. The key to good relationships is not no conflict, but good conflict resolution.

    I don’t like his disappearing completely, that could be considered stonewalling.

    #827466 Reply

    Emily

    We don’t know what his silence means. Leave him completely alone for a week. If you don’t hear from him in one week, send him a text that says, “I assume from your silence we are done. Is that correct?” If he says yes, you have your answer. If he says no, then talk IN PERSON. Apologize, and explain what you are doing to ensure you don’t repeat this behavior. Also see if you two can talk through the going silent thing. I can understand needing a day or two alone after a fight, but disappearing for more than that shows he can’t work through problems and would be a deal breaker for me.

    #827474 Reply

    A

    My ex husband and I fought several times over the course of 10 years. Some of the fights were very ugly. However, when we both calmed down and thought about it, we both apologized and moved on. If you love each other, you don’t want one fight to tear you apart. You learn how to compromise and learn to make things better next time. This isn’t the right relationship for you. He seems very immature. Take your loss, move on. Learn from this.

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