Rejected and blocked


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This topic contains 41 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  ANM Staff 4 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #503699

    sad girl

    Well, things couldn’t be more worse for me. I was pushy towards I guy I really like although he said he was confused about me and didn’t know what he wanted. I asked him if he wanted to a have a coffee with me, but he blocked me on FB. I just wanted to hang out casually, no drama. He got defensive because he has no interest in being anyone’s boyfriend. I admit that I have a crush on him, but I never considered him my boyfriend. I’m moving on with my life, but being blocked feels just petty.

    Has anyone experienced something similar? Will he start to feel guilty and unblock me?

    #503708

    kaye

    Well that sounds a bit dramatic don’t you think? Things couldn’t be worse for you? Yes they certainly could…you could find out you have a terminal illness, lose a close friend or family member, you could have been cheated on or find out you’re pregnant.

    Things can always be worse. In your case a guy you liked blocked you because he doesn’t want to date you or anyone right now. It’s not the end of the world. There will be lots more guys you like who will be interested. Let him be immature and block you and don’t for a second get hung up on being with a guy who doesn’t want to be with you. Life is too short!

    And the fact you had to point out that you wanted to hang out with no drama, and the fact your first statement was so dramatic, makes me think you may be one of those girls who likes drama and that’s a huge turn off to guys. Just an observation of something you may want to work on in the future.

    #503711

    Hannah

    I’m not sure there’s enough information here. How were you pushy? How was he confused? Were you seeing each other?

    The only reasons I’d block someone would be if they were pestering me and they wouldn’t go away despite me making it clear I wanted them to. Or an ex I didn’t want in my life

    Whether he will unblock you and feel guilty really depends on how close friends you were before this happeened, whether it was an over-reacton from him or you were so pushy he got fed up and how strong his feelings were for you.

    #503714

    SthrnBelle

    Yes it is immature but it is not the end of the world for you. I have had guys block me when I wanted nothing from them romantically and it is like ok. It should not bother you too much. I have no idea how you were pushy or pestering him, it can go overboard. I try not to block people unless I must and I know that I cannot resist answering them and really feel that I absolutely should not. I like the way Kaye put things into perspective that yes things can always get worse and could definitely be worse if say you were dying. Even if it is not that severe. Perhaps this guy was only a crush? Try not to fixate on crushes and try going dating with guys and take it easy and light. I could understand that you feel crushed if this was a relationship and I am sorry you feel humiliated now but do consider this to be his loss not yours now.

    #503727

    sad girl

    Kaye, you’re right, there are other things that can be worse but right now this is painful because it’s too recent for me. I want to go 30 days of full no contact because it will help me move on.

    We started great at first but then he pressured me into sleeping with him. He got angry and stopped contacting me, but we kept talking as friends. Then I felt bad and we did sleep together one night. After that he said he wasn’t so interested and that’s when I confronted him about it blamed him for using me. A few weeks passed and I just wanted to meet and leave everything behind and start again as friends. I know he’s not seeing anyone else.

    Do you think NC could help him forget all this and possibly hang out with me again?

    #503731

    Maria

    if someone blocks you this is clear message that they are not interested and do not anticipate this to change. If it changes, then they will contact you.

    You should do no contact for yourself and do not plan on anything with him. If he changes his mind, he will come back to you. But do not plan on it and do not harbour hopes.

    You said you were “pushy”, you need to learn from this experience. Pushing never gets you anywhere, I wonder why anyone would want to do that ever? You can ask and talk but push? Especially for a woman? If you have to push this means he is not into you, and if he is not, what would you accomplish by pushing? You can’t force someone to like you or to want to be with you or to want to stay friends with you or to hang out with you. You need to understand, accept and respect that.

    Move on, you will find someone better. It is always “better” because you learn from your mistakes and learn to recognize issues early and avoid them.

    #503752

    Teri

    no one likes rejection no matter what the level of relationship is. but i’d take the advise here and leave him be. its bad to be rejected but worse to continue to persue him after he rejects u the first time. also very humiliating.
    pick up your heart and the little dignity you have left and move the f**k on sweetie.

    #503758

    Amy

    Why do you care if he unblocks you? If someone blocked me, I would forget about them and move on. A word of tough love – stop feeling sorry for yourself. He didn’t “pressure you” into sleeping with him. You decided to sleep with him. Having a pity party will make it harder for you to move on.

    #503759

    Jordan

    So he pressured you for sex and got upset when you refused. Then you felt sorry for him and slept with him anyways, even though that’s not what you wanted to do to begin with but did for whatever reason. Then he says he’s not interested anymore which means he was clearly using you for sex. So I don’t understand why you’d wanna continue any kind of relationship with this guy when it’s clear you were just a booty call to him. Sorry to be harsh but from what you’ve posted, that’s what it sounds like. He blocked you because he doesn’t want to be bothered with you unless sex was in the picture. He is showing you that you’re not worth his time otherwise. Stop stressing over him and realize that he’s not the one and you could be with someone way better who treats you like a queen.

    #503761

    Paige

    He blocked you because your desperate. Point blank. Guys don’t like to be the center of the universe for a woman, it’s too much pressure. They also don’t want to be with a woman who doesn’t have her own life and just waits by the phone or sits at home waiting for him to call. You have friends you have family to spend time with or go binge watch a TV series on Netflix or go clubbing. Waiting on him to unblock you is just going to cause you more pain when you see him with someone else. Better to forget about him now and work on your self esteem. Best wishes to you.

    #503762

    Raven

    The more I hear about this guy, the less he impresses me…

    I agree with Jordan.

    #503767

    Hannah

    How did he pressure you to have sex? I can’t see how anyone can do that, unless they’re forcing you. You either agree to do it or you don’t.

    What did he get angry about after you had sex? I’m assuming got the fact you did it!

    I think you assumed because he slept with you, he wanted something more. His text says it all. You acted liked a girlfriend but all he wanted was a bit of fun. You said yourself you were pushy and it turned him off.

    I know you feel sad for yourself and I understand that, but you’re not an entirely innocent victim in this. From what you say, he didn’t use you. He didn’t promise anything or take anything you weren’t willing to give.

    Would you really just want to be just friends if he unblocked you? I think you want more than that. If he met you for coffee, I imagine you’d want more and would hope that the fact he met you meant he also wanted more. Then what if he met you again after that? Would you see that as leading you on? Think about this about his perspective. If he’s not interested, why bother with the drama?

    Just learn from this.

    #504270

    Leigh

    I will remain committed to never friending a guy on Facebook that I am romantically interested in! It is immature for him to block you because of his emotional issues. Be glad he blocked you. He will hurt you!

    #504273

    redcurleysue

    Let BLOCK MAN go. Move on.

    He is being somewhat silly.

    And you need to chill…do not pursue a man….ever.

    #504280

    Amy S

    Hey don’t lose any sleep over this guy. Hes an asshole on many counts. A decent guy would never push for sex and get angry and stop contact with you for this not being made available to him. A decent guy would also just politely and firmly decline your offer of coffee/ hangout. A decent guy would not do the over dramatic blocking. But you have to take responsibility here. You should have left him well alone after he got angry with you for not having sex. You should never feel obliged to have sex, even in a loving relationship. It does not make a guy want you more. That is such a clear red flag of a douchebag guy that hes practically physically waving the flag at you. Also if someone rejects you don’t go back under the guise of friendship. A guy will know exactly what you are doing here and lose even more respect for you. Why do you even want to hangout with such a horrible guy ? Know your value, you are the prize here. If some douche guy rejects you see it as his loss and swiftly move on. Lets hope he keeps you blocked so you don’t need to deal with any of this bs again. x

    #504283

    sad girl

    Thanks everyone for the advice. I’m doing better but I keep having some bouts of crying every day. I hope these will get less and less. I’m trying to focus on myself, studies and work.

    I keep getting flashbacks from the moments we had. I don’t know how he can be so cruel. He knows that I’ve waited 4 months for him to come back to my city and now he’s doing this. He knows I wanted to see him more than anything. He didn’t like it when I got too emotionally involved. I shouldn’t have been so eager. I don’t know if he’s trying to teach me a lesson, his friend said that we could meet later, but not at these times.

    I’m sure he’s doing this because he wants to meet other girls and sleep around. He doesn’t want anything serious. He’s cutting me off because he knows I like him and this makes him uneasy.

    #504295

    Paige

    It’s ok Hun, you made a mistake. This guy doesn’t see how caring you are and its ok, most guys don’t. Don’t beat yourself up over it. A better guy will value and cherish you.

    #504297

    sad girl

    Thanks a lot :) it’s nice to see that you girls don’t judge me that harshly. Yes, it’s a mistake and I’m trying to learn from it. I’ve bookmarked this page so I’ll always come back to it when I’m feeling down. Just reading your encouraging comments makes me feel a lot better.

    I’m too caring with everybody. I should try to be more indifferent, but I always try to give my best in everything I’m doing, whether it’s work, studies or relationships. I need to learn that just because I’m too involved and passionate, people are not like that and I shouldn’t expect too much from them.

    #504308

    SthrnBelle

    I completely understand you sad girl, that you are feeling he was cruel and yes this was cruel and immature to block you, I am not sure how you were pushy but it is true that you seemed desperate, I have been guilty at that. When you make a guy more important than anything else in your life, you are no longer the prize for them, you are there no matter what and while you think that this should make them feel great, it does not, it freaks them out and they are scared to death because it puts responsibility on their shoulders that if they decide to not continue, you will not be ok and then they would rather stop it now.

    They want to keep the choice to be able to be with you if they want to, I think that men want to feel that they are the men who make the decisions and this is why they say that when you have a fulfilled life full of friends, you are not sitting by the phone, sometimes you do not answer it or do not write back right away, they will only chase you more. But this should never be a game. This should be about how you feel, you must internalize confidence.

    The way to do this is to keep yourself busy and happy with others thing and when you are busy with other people and things, you are not always available and then it is not a game, it is the truth. Somehow guys can really feel this difference. It is difficult to learn and live it but it is something you should strive for. Find as many things as give you a lot of pleasure in life. To me this is many different things; friends, many social activities, my acting, going out with friends, inviting friends, reading, my passions and hobbies which is the same as my job, some retail therapy, getting nails and hair done, etc. It does not mean that you should allow a man to treat you badly, not at all, there is a difference, if you notice that pull away and stop it when you feel it is not good for you.

    I know that right now you are crying and this is normal too, allow yourself to live and process the pain in order to get over it. It will not go away on its own without your working on it.

    I also always say that some therapy does not hurt anyone who is dealing with insecurities and voids that they feel only the given man can fill. No one can fill that besides you. It is very difficult to achieve this state of mind but you can get there. Chin up. Life goes on, you will find better I guarantee you that. But for now change what you can which is your own behavior and mindset.

    #504312

    Alex

    I hope you get over feeling sad soon. I know it’s hard. Try to steer clear of jerks–guys who do things that make you feel bad. If they’re always making you sad then they’re bad for you, just don’t keep guys like that in your life.

    #504313

    Khadija

    I’m sorry this has happened to you.
    Please accept it and keep moving forward.
    Just try to focus on the ones who love and care about you.
    When someone exits my life I just see it as an opening for an even better person to get close to me.
    Don’t beat yourself up its not worth it.

    #504322

    Alex

    That is such a wise way to think about it, Khadija. Whenever something “bad” happens in my career I always look at it this way and immediately focus on new opportunities, and it’s always worked well for me, so much so that I’ve always ended up being happy about those supposedly bad things. Never tried that approach with a relationship, but you’re right, it’s the same thing.

    #504325

    Khadija

    Thanks Alex…that way of thinking has helped me get through disappointments in dating.

    #504329

    M

    Sorry that this guy treated you poorly. I agree with others who say no decent man would push for sex, get angry and withdraw if you say no to sex, and he would not have sex with you later and then block you. This is a BAD guy. Please, please, please learn your lesson and STAY AWAY from men like him. He did you a favor blocking you now. I know it hurts right now. Imagine how much it would hurt if you went through this hurtful cycle with him for a few years? It’s good that he blocked you.

    Start paying attention to how men treat you. Many of us here have fallen prey to men like this one in the past. So learn from that mistake, so you can see the red flags right from the start. Red flag #1 is pressuring you for sex in the first place. Most men will “try” to get sex but if you say no, most men will stop at that. The second and even BIGGER red flag was how he treated you after you wouldn’t give him sex. That was the time to block HIM and move on. Block him out of your life and change your focus to something else. If I was in your shoes, I would block him on Facebook so that he can’t come back and harass you for more sex the next time he needs a warm body to use for his own self-interest.

    Hugs

    #504357

    Hannah

    Sad girl, every one else has read this differently to me!

    I’m reading “he pressured me into sleeping with bim” as meaning “we had sex”. And seeing the him getting angry as a totally different subsequent issue. Everyone else is reading it as he tried to pressure you into sex and got angry when you didn’t do it. That isn’t what happened is it? Ýou definitely did sleep with him after this incident as you said so yourself.

    Because of how I’m reading this, I’m not seeing a guy who treated someone badly here at all. I’m seeing someone (you) who saw casual sex as something more, went a bit crazy/pushy on him when it was clear he didn’t feel the same and are now upset he blocked you. Presumably because he didn’t want the drama.

    It’s all in the past now so it doesn’t really matter in a way. But I think it is important to learn from the past and take responsibility for your part in all of this. Then you learn for the future and won’t make the same mistakes again.

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