My first breakup, just looking for advice


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This topic contains 3 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  anon 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #779956 Reply

    Anon

    Hi everyone, so Its been a week since me and my boyfriend broke up and i was finding it okay to deal with at the beginning but now it’s like, I’m not missing him but I miss the relationship. I miss the affection and the cuddles, the support and just having him there. Is this normal and part of the heartbreak? It was my first proper relationship that lasted two years, but turned into an unhealthy relationship. I’m just looking for advice really on how to deal with these feelings.

    #779957 Reply

    Raven

    What you are feeling is normal… It does get better, I promise!

    #779973 Reply

    Lane

    Yup, this is part and parcel of going through break up withdrawals of which you will go through a range of emotions and feelings, where one day you will feel fine and then next day, like a tidal waves, they will rock you about. The only cure is TIME.

    Over time you will stop thinking of them less and less as your brain starts the process of overriding them with other memories (people and experiences) until you reach the point of indifference. When you reach this point they will pop up here and there but it dissipates just as quickly as they come and have no residual or lingering thoughts or feelings associated with them. The longer you have no contact (best breakup method) they will either disappear all together or can go many many years without ever having a thought of them other than having a ‘nostalgic moment’—something that prompts an old subconscious buried memory to come to the conscious level but again they pop out just as quickly as they pop in.

    Some do have the urge to reach out during these nostalgic moments. I believe more so out of curiosity or going through a life event, especially if quite a lot of time has elapsed over many years. I’ve had several do this with the advent of the internet (I started dating in the 80’s lol); however they and I had gone on with our lives and after catching up you have zero desire to rekindle anything, including a friendship, because those type of feelings are long gone and think of them no differently than you think of a long ago friend you once had a close relationship with, such as in HS, and out of the blue reaches out to you. You will eventually get there! :o)

    #780073 Reply

    anon

    Thank you both for your advice, I appreciate it!

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