Home › Forums › Long Distance Relationship (LDR) Advice › LD boyfriend doesn't want to interact on facebook
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Lucy
Hey,
I don’t know how to interpret this. My LD boyfriend doesn’t want to interact with me on facebook. He say he’s not using facebook, but I can see that he is active all the time. Sometimes he’s active now, then 1 minute ago, then active again, then active again one minute ago. This can go on for hours. I wouldn’t expect anything if I didn’t know that this is how we just to chat when we first got to know eachother. We used to chat for hours on end. I can see from his active status that he’s just not looking at his newsfeed, but actively chatting with someone. I wouldn’t be bothered with this if he had used it to chat with me instead. He say he’s not using the Messenger, but he has it installed, and it’s clear to me that he’s using it to chat with somebody. What do you think? Should I worry about this? Need advice cause I’m frustrated.
Lucy
*I wouldn’t suspect anything ifI didn’t know that this is how we used to chat when we first go to know eachother.
*I wouldn’t be bothered with this if he had used it to chat with me also.
JC
Well how can you tell that he is not looking at his newsfeed and that he is only chatting with someone?
Lucy
Because he is active now, then suddenly it changes to active 1,2 or 3 ago minutes ago, then active now, then active x minutes ago. And this goes on for two hours sometimes. Had he been reading his newsfeed for two hours he would’ve been active for two hours straight. His activity looks more like reading and replying messages.
JC
Ohhhh that makes sense. That’s good to know lol but I would feel the same way. In the past I have had a boyfriend tell me that he didn’t have a Facebook but it turned out he did. The fact that he lied about not getting on is a little worrisome
Lucy
Thanks for your reply JC :-) Yes, I am worried. At least when he gets angry at me for confrontimg him about it. And even denies it! And instead telling me how often I’m logged in. He has said that he doesn’t like facebook and that it’s boring, but he’s still spending a lot of time there. I have never said that I’m not using facebook!
Britt
Ahh that is a strange situation. I hate that through FB you can actually tell when someone is active vs not.
I used to date this guy that would take forever to reply to my text messages saying that he is oh so busy but would be active on fb soooooooo often.
Its hard to confront someone about this because it can turn ugly and they can use all sorts of reasons to not admit it, like saying how FB is inaccurate at that and its not true at all.
Maybe you could send him smth funny on FB message and see how quick it takes him ti “read” it? just say it that you have to do it through FB because the link directed you automatically to that,
And girl, LD is always hard… do you guys talk on the phone? I would suggest making efforts to strengthening your relationship through phone calls more than being obsessed about social media like that. In reality, you can never know what he is up to, all you can do is talk to him, listen to his tone of voice and the way he interacts with you. That is more telling that anything.
Market
Hi Lucy!
I’m in an LDR with a FB addict too. We are not friends on FB because he’s so active on there, and I have 12 friends and an 8 year old pic, I thought I’d pass. I did however, thoroughly stalk his profile under my Fake Stalking Profile. I even checked out a few of his groupie chicks who “liked” his lame sport’s chat. Nothing to worry about. So, Facebook is his little getaway, as far as I’m concerned. He doesn’t go to bars, it’s his way to unwind.
If you think he’s chatting to one girl in particular? That’s a different story. We need to think of how you go about this with the assumption of innocent before proven guilty and not showing neediness or jealousy.
Let’s all brainstorm. I think the suggestion of phone conversation was right on. Maybe something like, “Why do random guys try to befriend strange girls on FB all the time? I ignore it of course. I only talk to platonic friends. How ’bout you?”
Or is that too obvious?
Market
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