Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Is This a Red Flag?
- This topic has 3 replies and was last updated 2 years, 3 months ago by
Liz Lemon.
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Molly
This is going to sound like a really weird question but it’s just something I’ve been curious about. Is it normal to enjoy being in your partner’s company even though you are doing nothing? A better way to phrase this question is that is it supposed to get boring after a while or is it a good sign that you can be with your partner even if you’re not doing anything and still enjoy it? Don’t get me wrong, we do plenty of activities and go out when we want to but even when we’re not doing anything I am happy. Is this something that will eventually fade when we have spent more time together or is it something all couples should have. We have only been together for almost a year so that’s why I ask if it will get boring. I am comfortable around him and don’t exactly get butterflies with him but still am excited with his presence. I don’t know if this is a weird question. I guess I just do not want this feeling to go away.
Raven
I like it when I’m with my husband & he is quiet… LOL!
Sometimes just being is nice…
Maddie
I don’t think the feeling goes away if you’re maintaining your emotional connection with each other (good foundation of trust, no resentment building up, any issues get dealt with as they come up, pay enough attention to each other), and if you are happy with yourself. What I mean by happy with yourself is, if I’m feeling bored in general, it’s up to me to find something to do, not on my boyfriend to entertain me. So, being whole in yourself and able to take care of your own needs but nurturing the romantic relationship and connection as well. If your foundations are solid, there’s no reason the feelings you’re enjoying should disappear, even if they ebb and flow sometimes.
Liz Lemon
I’ve been with my bf 4 years and I still enjoy doing nothing with him. I think as you get more established in a relationship, the butterflies go away, but they’re replaced by a sense of calm, happy security. For me, it’s knowing that my bf loves me, is committed to me, and our relationship is solid. When I’m with my bf, everything feels natural, I’m completely relaxed and can be myself, and know that I’ll be accepted and loved by him no matter what. Which, if you think about it, is kind of the opposite of having butterflies. But is still a very nice feeling :-) And if I haven’t seen my bf for a day or two, I’m definitely a bit excited to see him- I look forward to walking through the door and giving him a kiss.
But like Maddie said, it hinges on having an emotional connection with each other, and being happy in your life apart from the relationship. If there is discord between the two of you, or if you’re feeling dissatisfied with your life as a whole, it will affect the quality of your feelings.
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